Would you do this? Cut your thumb to a shadow of its former self just so you can click-clack happily away on a device that is sure to get smaller and smaller in the near future? That’s exactly what a man from Colorado decided to do.
Thomas Martel had surgery performed on his thumb known as whittling. The procedure consists of making a small incision in both thumbs in order to carve off some of the bones. Then, the thumbs’ muscles and fingernails are modified. I’m skeptical about this procedure, which supposedly caused his thumbs to look small and effeminate in contrast to his large, manly hands. “Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it’s saving me in frustration - that’s priceless,” Thomas pointed out.
Since it’s been proven that mankind owes its intelligence and reasoning powers to the opposable thumbs, what the hell happened in this case? Doesn’t Thomas realize that ten to fifteen years of technology life is the same as 50 to 60 in human years? In other words, technology always managed to make itself obsolete pretty quickly.
Someone obviously opened up a can of stupid here. No, wait…Thomas admitted he still has trouble opening up a certain kind of container:
…pretty much anything I could lift before the surgery - though opening spaghetti sauce jars has been a problem. That was a big surprise.
No doubt the plants at Thomas’ home are now cringing at the prospect of the new and slimmed down thumb, which begs the question: Is the thumb now any less green?
So how far would you go in order to adapt to the latest technology?
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Thank god I have small hands…. but geez! You’re right this is a whole new can of stupid. Bet he feels great begging others to open his spaghetti sauce for him now….. I can’t imagine the recovery time and process that goes along with a surgery of this kind. What was the surgeon who did it thinking??? I bet it was just one thing ‘ka-ching’ $$ why fix something that wasn’t broke to begin with. Like you said… technology is forever changing.
Oh and would I do this…. hell no!
For some reason, this post is making me think of that old Dick Van **** show where Rob Petrie has that dream about walnuts, missing thumbs, and an alien named Kolac - played by Danny Thomas.
Wonder what Kolac’s solution to the iPhone would be???
DUMB, DUMB & DUMBER….DID I MENTION “ESTUPIDO”
Can of stupid?! LOL
Not that it matters, but was this guy deaf?
Rob:
There wasn’t any indication that the guy was deaf from the article. But you know how the deaf community relies HEAVILY on these pagers/PDAs/cellphones, so I was wondering if any of us would be that nutty to undergo this procedure.
Another thing to ponder: how much of our signing/cueing ability would be affected?
Rob,
If he was, the journalists would have been quick to highlight a medical curiosity with the newsworthy incident in the headline, no matter if one is not directly correlated with the other: “Deaf man surgically alters thumb”.
True.
I dont see how this is any different than any other cosmetic surgery people do every single day for countless reasons and some as simple as vanity. With this at least he had a reason other than wanting to look good.
I dont think what he did was dumb, maybe excessive but not dumb. We can just look around us at the number of things people do in the name of technology.
Why we have parents slicing open their children’s heads just so they can hear better, we have adults having laser beams slice across their eyes so they can see better, so he has surgery on his thumbs so he can handle things better?
Excessive yes, but who are we to call others dumb?
Michael Jackson’s cosmetic surgery.
Dumb or excessive?
How about both?
Bobby White, nice bit of excessive hyperbole there - “..slicing open their children’s heads”
Hardly.
I suppose stupidity..much like beauty…is in the eyes of the beholder.
*shudders* I can’t imagine doing that. Ever. I love technology, but I’m not going to change myself physically in order to adapt to technology. Technology is supposed to adapt to human beings, not the other way.
Knock on wood.
OUCH! A lot to go through just to be able to type on an electronic device.
I wouldn’t do anything to change myself in name of technology. I suppose it is his decision and at least, it’s all his own and he’s the one having to live with the consequences if he’s not happy.
To Shane’s post, it could be headlined as worse as, “Deaf Man surgically alters his thumb instead of his ear.”
To McConnell, about the use of word, “slice,” what’s your beef? First of all, “slicing open…” is another way to say it and that is precisely what is happening in the surgery. Secondly, Bobby White wasn’t targeting only on deaf people but also hearing people, who wear glasses when he used the word, “slice.” Any time there’s surgery, people need to be sliced open. Thirdly, if you really want to lecture him on using a better choice of word, you should have also
included the one about those going through laser where “slice,” was used in the description. You targeted him only on using the word, “slice” on deaf people who go through surgery for CI.
This simply isn’t true. Check out my website link.
It made me laugh hysterically. Thanks!
Of course it wasn’t true! But Vikki has an point, would you operate on yourself for that kinda stuff? No Way! That’s stupid.
But Bobby White has a point about what we do to ourselves like cohlear implants. So what is the difference then?
Oh, please… This article is a SATIRE… It isn’t true! He wrote it to point out the ridiculous things that people sometimes do to their bodies because its “popular.” His point is, like, “What happens if in the future something is developed that requires LONG thumbs?”
In this area, its GREAT to point out the correlation with Cochlear Implants.. As you know, when a person gets a CI, the entire inner ear is destroyed and replaced by a computer… Suppose it happens that someone discovers a NEW technology that improves hearing better than CI, but requires that the person have an intact cochlea… What can be done for people who have already destroyed their cochlea with a CI???
Interesting to think about…