The March 2007 Deaf Professional Happy Hour (DPHH) is scheduled to take place at Be Bar, an up-and-coming, culturally diverse bar in the Shaw area of the District. Be Bar was selected because they actually reached out to us and pretty much
said, “Come to Be Bar. We’d really love to have DPHH here. And we even have
cute bartenders who are fluent in ASL! We’ll even let DPHH patrons in
free-of-charge if they sign DPHH at the door.”
But since the announcement about BeBar being the location for the
next DPHH, we’ve gotten some flak.
“But BeBar is gay. Why would you want to have DPHH there? They sometimes have gay clientele. Bad choice!”
What do you all think? How concerned should we be given that we’ve had
DPHH at all sorts of venues catering to all sorts of audiences for the
last 10+ years.
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I’m shocked people actually sent those emails… That, to me, is akin to hearing people emailing the DPHH venue “!? But BeBar is hearing! Why would you want to have deaf people there?? They’re horrible tippers! Bad choice!”
WTF?
Freedom of choice, Rob.
I’m assuming you’re not holding a gun to anyone’s head and demanding that they either show up, or you’ll blow their brains out. Attendance at DPHH events is voluntary, not mandatory. Correct?
So if a bunch of homophobes have a problem with the fact that a certain bar in town is making an effort to reach out and demonstrate themselves to be as inclusive as possible, then let them go to the fancy-schmancy heterosexual bar down the street, where they have to pay a six buck cover charge to get in.
I’m not in DC and I don’t attend DPHH…but I applaud the Be Bar for reaching out and saying “Hey! Come and spend an evening with us, we’d love to have ya!”
And hey, if that cute bartender can mix me up a great Long Island Iced Tea, I couldn’t care less about his sexual orientation.
I’ve always lived by the motto:
“It doesn’t matter what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom, as long as you don’t do it out in the street and scare the horses.”
Virginia, I love ya!
“I’m assuming you’re not holding a gun to anyone’s head and demanding that they either show up, or you’ll blow their brains out. Attendance at DPHH events is voluntary, not mandatory. Correct?”
EXACTLY.
What’s interesting is that the crowd at the February 2007 DPHH was the most diverse I’ve ever been to, and I have gotten comments alluding to the same. People actually said they enjoyed themselves immensely. I strongly encourage DPHH to be held at a variety of venues. We consider ourselves to be open-minded and tolerant, let’s practice what we preach.
“‘It doesn’t matter what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom, as long as you don’t do it out in the street and scare the horses.’ ”
Don’t you know horses are so easily spooked? I wouldn’t go by the whims of that certain animal (sorry horse lovers!). ;-)
Vikki, that’s why you’re my girlfriend. Shhhh..don’t tell anyone.
You two were so cute at the Feb. DPHH… And the pic’s online to prove it! ;-)
Whoops, it’s not that David. :)
Thanks for clarifying that Shane, I don’t want her fiancee kicking my butt!
Sorry, David S.! I didn’t realize the other guy wasn’t you… mea culpa! Forgive me? :)
“Don’t you know horses are so easily spooked?”
That’s why I recommend keeping it in the bedroom, dear.
;-)
Touché! Smart, very smart. LOL.
Going to a bar where some workers know ASL is a blessing!
I highly respect the DPHH committee for showing a diversity of possibilities. It is no brainer.
Jeez……this is ridiculous!!! Rob, whoever wrote the email to you probably didn’t realized there were at least 10 gay people at each DPHH. He/She doesn’t speak for the majority — so keep the March event at Be Bar and we’ll have a good time without him/her.
One person emailed me and said that no one will go to the DPHH at Be Bar, that it would be a flop.
Well, you can count on one person going.
Who else is with me?
I’ve got an offer on a free Long Island Iced Tea…
anyone wanna send me a plane ticket?
Rob, you WILL carry me back to the hotel afterwards, right???
Umm. Sure. I think! :)
LOL…
Calm down, gang…and get your minds out of the gutter! ;-)
It’s just that I’m a relatively “cheap drunk” and if you’ve ever seen what goes into a Long Island Iced Tea…well, it doesn’t take many of them before I actually NEED someone to carry me home!
(not that I make a habit out of it…)
Rob, I’ll help you carry her. You know, the knight in shining armor thing.
Awww…thanks, David. So nice of you to offer your assistance!
Actually, if you’re going to play the knight, why not just lift me up on your white horse and we’ll ride back to the hotel.
Wait - that won’t work…as Vikki says, them animals “are so easily spooked.”
Damn.
We’ll prove him/her wrong!!
well, we dont know of any deaf gays complaining about DPHH being held in straight bars, right? :)
Well, what about hosting an alcohol-free DPHH in a church hall? You want to preach and practice tolerance, do it full circle.
I commend Be Bar for making that extra outreaching effort - something I don’t often see bars and restaurants doing, even in this city.
Amen!
exactly! its about time DPHH diversifies its bar choices ;) i would be MORE concerned if DPHH refused to use Be Bar. that would be reinforcing homophobia.
I agree with you absolutely!
Do some straight DPHH patrons complain about Deaf gays going to the DPHH events? I commend BeBar for a good change. Since the straight DPHH patrons consist of many hetersexuals, Deaf gays have no choice about DPHH being in straight bars. It will be good for the straight DPHH patrons to experience a gay crowd at a gay bar. Nowadays, more straight women and even some straight men hit the gay bars with their gay friends.
I do go to DPHH sometimes and really enjoy myself, although I am gay. At this point, many straight deafies want to talk to anyone, regardless of sexual orientation nowadays. Sign language makes a big difference than sexual orientation nowadays. I
If some straight deafies are not comfortable about going to a gay bar, it is not my problem. They have to keep in mind that they might go to a gay bar like BeBar once a year. It won’t hurt them. Life is too short!
Ironically … as the bartender of said bar, I was approached on numerous occasions by Deaf patrons who said “We should have DPHH here, it’s a great venue!” It was this interest that made me reach out the the larger group and get the ball rolling.
It is shocking to me that anyone would have an issue with coming to a gay-friendly bar in this day and age. Regardless, my feeling is that everyone will have a better time without that kind of person mixed in. :)
ITAWTC= (I Totally Agree With This Comment).
Can you make a good Long Island Iced Tea???
Or a Black Russian!
Or a white russian? It better be made with vanilla vodka….. ;-)
white russian is black russian with milk. :P i know you were probably just teasing but thought i’d shoot that out there.
hey bartender, Is it true that deaf ppl are poor tippers?
Do you make excellent chocolate martinis? If so, I’m there!
oh boy!
1) we have an EXCELLENT chocolate martini … in fact, I myself make a killer chocolate strawberry martini. :)
2) Our long islands will ensure you need to be carried home. But switch between that and our vodka/redbull special on fridays and you’ll have a great night!
3) There are poor tipper and great tippers of any minority, it is just that when a few people in the group do it the whole group get a bad reputation. The best way to fight that is, of course, to make sure you yourself are tipping well!
*ahem* Way to show respect for diversity!
Sheesh! It’s too bad I don’t live in DC or I would be SO there!
Whoever sent that e-mail should be glad it was sent to Rob, and not to me… Because my response would have been, ‘Don’t let the door hit your ass on your way out, hon.’
~ Deaf Pundit
LOL! *Love* your comment! That would totally be my response too! Too bad I don’t live in the DC area or I would SO BE there at Be Bar. Gay bars are much more fun for me to attend because people are usually friendly and just hanging out to have a good time. Plus side: no drunk guys coming up to hit on me and putting a damper on my evening. ;-)
Ignorance is bliss, or is it really?
I keep getting a lot of flack from my own family for having lived in a 8-bdrm house with many of different orientations. Who cares? You’re not getting hurt just because someone loves someone else who happens to have the same body anatomy as themselves.
Jimi Hendrix said it best; “When the power of love over comes the love of power, the world will know peace”
I’m looking forward to my first DPHH ever.
Love that quote too…I found it printed on a tapestry and it’s now hanging on my wall. Enjoy your first DPHH, Aaron! ;-)
I’m there! Heh…
I think it’s fantastic that the bar reached out to DC DPHH. I’ve been hosting NYC DPHH for over two years now, and managers and bartenders often are pleased with the outcome. Every other bar is new and looking for potential regulars. there are decent deaf tippers.
I’m bit rusty with DC neighborhood these days. Where is the Shaw area?
It’s actually in Mt. Vernon — where the new convention center is. 9th Street NW around M, I think. Shaw is a bit further north, on the way up to Howard University (which is on 7th, north of U Street).
Kaybee — tell the NYC folks hello for me!
hey hilary - sho will!
oh THAT shaw area.. yeah it looks real good now. thanks for clarifying
It’s a shame to see Deaf people discriminating another culture, when we are often misunderstood by society as well. I think Gay and Lesbian are more accepting to deaf culture than many.
Deaf people go to bars to CHAT with each other, I never see deaf people trying to pick up dates with straight people at straight bars, so why would a gay bar be any different? cuz deaf are so focused on their own ASL conversations than paying attention to other bar partrons.
I honestly am embarrassed to see deaf people actually discriminating another culture because I assume based on our own life’s struggle, we would understand the other’s struggle as well without insulting them or degrading whoever we feel we disagree with.
If a hearing person disagrees with deaf’s view, we would prefer they leave us be and let us live the way we want, so I do not see why we cannot return the same respect.
I would go anywhere DPHH is located cuz I know I will be chatting and catching up with some hearing and deaf people involved in deaf culture than peeking around who’s available in gay or straight bars.
Those who complain are the ones who are looking for a date, must be deperate to complain about the location!
why is that a shame? They do it to their own community.
So it’s not a shame that we do it to ourselves either? :P
I think those who aren’t living under a rock are aware that oppression happens everywhere, inside and outside the community, and it definitely merits a serious look. But I don’t think everyone is aware of the extent of discrimination inside our community.
I really dislike the ‘Oppression Olympics’ mentality. It’s not very constructive. I’ve been oppressed. You’ve been oppressed. Everyone has been at some point in their lives. Yay! Lessee who wins a gold medal in who’s been oppressed the most!
I see absolutely nothing wrong with Rob bringing this to our awareness and us discussing it. That is the first step in fixing the problem.
Hiya PB:
That’s true, Deaf people do discriminate against against deaf people, and vice versa.
But thank God, y’know, that hearing white people don’t discriminate against hearing black people (and vice versa), and hearing Christians don’t discriminate against hearing Jews (and vice versa) and hearing…
…well, you get the picture.
PS I left one last comment for you after our discussion about ego defense… have you seen it? I don’t want you to walk away thinking my decision to leave you to your opinion was meant as a snub. It wasn’t. If you want to continue that conversation, we can continue it under that other article and pick up where we left off. If not, okay.
I’m fully aware of the inside and outs of how people treat each other…. it’s pretty disgusting, but hey that’s life. Pity, we all can’t mature from such behavior, instead we become militant, overly emotional, and melodramatic.
(shrugs)
So how would you term a mature way to deal with an issue like this?
Yes, Punky…do enlighten us.
Perhaps, “mature” was too confusing, or maybe too big a word for you two, I’ll try “grow” but if that’s still not good enough how about “evolve?”
And how do you describe “evolved” behavior? What exactly do you consider to be appropriate behavior?
You state we become “militant, overly emotional, and melodramatic”…
Can you cite some clear examples of how you would prefer to see us deaf individuals act, since you seem to generally disapprove of our behavior?
well, I wasn’t directing what I said specifically to “deaf” people. What I said applies to pretty much billions of people all over the world.
all I’m saying is that I just hope someday we, as human beings, can grow out of the need to be so overly emotional about things, take for example, like say….religious zealots, some groups race for ultimate power, getting all worked up over something when your attention could probably be better focused on making the world a better place than going up in arms and affecting not only those around you but the entire world? you know…. there is life outside the deaf community. =)
“There is life outside the deaf community.”
Um. then why are you here?
Seriously.
I absolutely agree that we need to focus on making the world a better place, and personally, I’m trying to do that as much as possible.
Do you have any suggestions for us to proceed with improving our corner of the world? I’m more than happy to listen to your ideas on how to do social change. But really, this blogsite is about deaf issues. It’s a bit unreasonable to expect us not to discuss those issues, don’t you think?
well first off.. we’re gonna to get past this “barrier” the brings “this is for deaf issues so uuhhhh we don’t really care about the rest of the world.”
like i mentioned in the previous blog, in all honesty there really isn’t anything we can do at this point with the older generation, the targets of change and evolution reside in our kids. All i can hope for is that we teach our kids better than we have in the past. IN this case with all these deaf issues i’d probably start with the fact that “isolation” is bad bad bad bad….
Isn’t it the gay/lesbian/bi/transexual world that has embraced and shown us deaf community friendliness and kinship, always? I for one would rather go to a bar where the hearing people there show us full respect and even try signing with us, rather than a bar full of hearing people that make faces and ask the management to push us out (which has happened at past DPHHs..)
In any event, I’ll be there.
It’s interesting that you mention this…
I am a “Double Marginalized” Deaf individual in that not only do I identify myself as Deaf, but I’m also a member of the Pagan Community as well.
Interestingly enough, I have frequently found that it is the Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Transexual members of the Pagan Community who have been most accepting of me and have shown that friendliness and kinship. The High Priest I have conducted a number of rituals with is Gay, and many of the interpreters who have interpreted for rituals, workshops, and gatherings I’ve attended are Gay or Lesbian. During a healing ritual that was conducted to help me battle a serious life-threatening disease, the first person to step forward and place her hands on me was a transgendered individual whose love flowed through me in waves.
If these are the kind of people that patronize the Be Bar, you can bet your bottom dollar that if I lived in DC, I would be at that DPHH gathering in a heartbeat.
While I’ve only gone to one DPHH in DC myself, isn’t the lure of DHPP all about the professional deaf community getting together and having an great time? While it’s necessary to mix it up and move around the DC area, the type of bar and location has always seemed secondary.
What do gay people and women have in common? They both suck! Just kidding…
Besides, deaf people will outnumber gay people during DPHH like we do with hearing people every time we have DPHH. It makes it fun when you have to ask their sexual orientation– kind of like, “What’s behind door number three?”
That’ll be the day when people start asking, “Are you straight?”
Oh yeah. The “scare ‘em off” effect. I’ve noticed that with direct porportion of the number of deaf people, there is an opposite effect on hearies. IN other words, the more deafies there are, eventually they crowd the hearies out and before you know it, the hearies, the ones who braved it out and haven’t left, are sitting in a dark corner gaping at the deafies.
or hitting on them if they’re hammered.
When I saw the “Be Bar” for the upcoming DPHH gathering. My first response was mixed feelings about this place due to several factors. Nothing to do with the sexual orientation of the bar’s clientle.
The neighborhood of the “Be Bar” is somewhat questionable and suspectible to violent crime - armed robbery, assault and other criminal activities lately - Mt. Vernon Square area. Please check out the DC’s MPD MSA neighborhood statistic reports or e-newsreports via local televison stations and newspapers of Washington, DC.
I went to the “Be Bar” - VIP party before the grand opening of this brand-new bar last Winter 2006. It was kinda small like walking thru the mobile home surroundings with awkwardly postioned with modern deco furnitures against the wall.
The dance floor was really awesome - real nice and cozy. I was told by the gay and hearing lover of the owner of the “Be Bar”, Doug that this bar will add the second floor for the VIPs (VIP Room). I dunno know if they already complete the addition of second floor.
All bartenders were twinky types - smooth and fresh young unlike some gay bars with real guys serving drinks. From my visit to the VIP party, bartenders were very responsive to the given orders by patrons.
Other questionable factors are parking issue where the Deaf/deaf attendees will park their vehicles. The nearby parking space is the Giant grocery store on the O Street. High probability of auto towing!
Walking the 2 and half blocks from the Mt. Vernon Square/ Washington Convention Center Metrorail station to the “Be Bar” drinking hole could really intimidate the deaf attendees whose are not very familar with the surroundings of the Mt. Vernon Square and Thomas Circle.
Sadly, the estalbishments and residences on the Ninth Street facing the Washington Convention Center still have the grimsly appearance in despite of three years existence of the brand-new Washington Convention Center and Mt. Vernon-Thomas Circle revatlization for past five to six years.
I could undy why the DPHH host say “an urban adventure” in its DPHH announcement. That would remind many people of the beloved feature film - “Adventure in Babysitting” (I could not remmy the exact title of this 80s film) where the female high school suburb babysitter had to find their babysitting youngsters roamed freely in the big city environment before parents returned home from the big city party. The little girl fixated on the Thor, comic book hero. Remmy that? In the end, the urban adventure ended up amazingly good.
I will give the benefit of doubt by coming down to the “Be Bar”. What is to lose?
I do believe that many Gally students would be not possibly comiing to the DPHH due to the finanical situation reserved for their upcoming Spring Break. Let’s wait and see.
Everyone deaf hetro guys ought to know that the gay men would not grope you in any way. Any hetro know their own sexuality and should not have any problem coming to the gay bar to have the blastin’ fun all the evening.
The “Be Bar” is not really a typical gay bar. is very well-lightened and interestingly decorated.
I will see if the bartenders really fluent in ASL. I personally know Doug, eager learner of sign language. His signing is more like SEE, not ASL. The receptive skill of his is questionable. Doug get the wrong info from someone deaf, Jim Varas.
Doug used to be a real twink til he muscled up himself to more beefy physique. He used to employ at the JR’s, another yuppie gay bar on 17th Street, NW.
Life is too short to be shortsighted and reserved. Enjoy the diveristy of life!
Robert L. Mason (RLM)
LOL!!!!!!
“Life is too short to be shortsighted and reserved. Enjoy the diversity of life!”
This is coming from that guy who wants to eradicate people who use cochlear implants or any form of audsim from Gallaudet campus. this is just too funny.
(cough) ass (cough)
RLM:
I would like to respond to your comments in several parts.
“The neighborhood of the “Be Bar” is somewhat questionable and suspectible to violent crime - armed robbery, assault and other criminal activities lately - Mt. Vernon Square area. Please check out the DC’s MPD MSA neighborhood statistic reports or e-newsreports via local televison stations and newspapers of Washington, DC.”
Why is this particular venue so much more dangerous than others? I looked at the past DPHH events, and I can already pick out a few already that were so-called dangerous, but it seemed not to stop anyone from attending.
“Other questionable factors are parking issue where the Deaf/deaf attendees will park their vehicles. The nearby parking space is the Giant grocery store on the O Street. High probability of auto towing!”
Umm… Georgetown? Adams Morgan? Dupont Circle? Logan Circle? U Street? Waterfront? All the popular hotspots are always going to have parking problems. That is why one of DPHH location criteria is to be close to the Metro. I would say 2 and a half blocks is not bad at all. Finn MacCool in January was a longer walk than that.
“Sadly, the estalbishments and residences on the Ninth Street facing the Washington Convention Center still have the grimsly appearance in despite of three years existence of the brand-new Washington Convention Center and Mt. Vernon-Thomas Circle revatlization for past five to six years.”
Again, a lot of the popular destinations in DC are surrounded by grimy conditions. Again, that has not stopped anyone from going. Just because an area looks like Utopia does not automatically mean it’s pristine, clean, and safe. Far be from it. I’ve been to certain areas of the suburbs where people let their guard down because of that reason and they get taken. What’s the difference?
“could undy why the DPHH host say “an urban adventure” in its DPHH announcement. That would remind many people of the beloved feature film - “Adventure in Babysitting” (I could not remmy the exact title of this 80s film) where the female high school suburb babysitter had to find their babysitting youngsters roamed freely in the big city environment before parents returned home from the big city party. The little girl fixated on the Thor, comic book hero. Remmy that? In the end, the urban adventure ended up amazingly good.”
Who’s to say that the Be Bar adventure won’t end up “amazingly good”?
“I will give the benefit of doubt by coming down to the “Be Bar”. What is to lose? I do believe that many Gally students would be not possibly comiing to the DPHH due to the finanical situation reserved for their upcoming Spring Break. Let’s wait and see.”
Uh…last time I checked, DPHH means Deaf PROFESSIONALS happy hour. Not Deaf STUDENTS happy hour. If the college kids can’t come cuz they lack the funds, they can’t come. Who cares? I wouldn’t want them to come if they can’t carry themselves in a respectful and ADULT manner anyway.
“The Ninth Street is really a safe destination as compared to the 7th Street within the low-income apartment buildings and menancing guys loiter at the 7th and 0 Street, NW.”
This screams you-know-what all over it. So next time I see some people (regardless of their race) loitering at a conrer, I should just run the other way or cross the street? Come on…
If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen. But let other people decide if they want to step into the kitchen. If they like what’s cookin’ inside, great. If they get burnt, that’s life.
I forget to add that all deaf attendees using the Metrorail and walk to the Ninth Street via M Street, not the Seventh Street.
I was once egged by someone unknown on the 7th Street via M Street.
The Ninth Street is really a safe destination as compared to the 7th Street within the low-income apartment buildings and menancing guys loiter at the 7th and 0 Street, NW.
Robert L. Mason (RLM)
If anyone interested in checking out the Metro Weekly cover story on the “Be Bar” drinking hole. Go to the http://www.metroweekly.com/feature/?ak=2271
I hope that will be very helpful for many of you.
Robert L. Mason (RLM)
There is another article dealing with the controvesty of the “Be Bar” to exist within the Mt. Vernon Square which the nearby church across from the incoming new gay bar fought pretty hard to keep the bar from operating in the first place.
The “Be Bar” owners faced such major obsactales and hurdles before finally got the place to open and exist.
Here is the e-article - http://www.dcist.com/archives/.....ens_af.php
Handful of gay people constantly complain about the $ 5 entry admission fee to the “Be Bar” lately. More gay bars begin to charge admission fee - Omega’s on Wednesdays, ‘The Fireplace” on weekends. Remington’s is doing it for pretty long time on weekends.
All the DC bars and nightclubs probably will charge admission fee due to the recent proposed DC legislation by the eccrentic Jim Graham, Ward 3 councilperson for covering the expenses of city inspectors for underage individuals coming into those places.
At least, we are very lucky for not paying any admission fee for the upcoming DPHH gathering on March 2nd.
The Azi’s cafe is not likely to remain open all the night. It probably close around 5pm.
The Gallery Place-Chinatown area have plenty of dining establishments and walk four to five blocks north to the “Be Bar”.
Robert L. Mason (RLM)
RLM..
Read my first comment - it’s all about Freedom of Choice.
You don’t wanna be there…fine. Don’t show up.
Amazing how inspiration becomes action! A friend reminded me recently that I went to Be-Bar a while ago and chatted with the manager who knew sign. I soaked in the dazzling environment and became oblivious to the fact that it was a gay bar. I simply told the manager that it would be cool if he hosted a DPHH event at the bar.
I’m glad they came forward and DPHH heeded! So I see there’s a stir-up over this..interesting how discomfort comes into light through this controversy.
I wanted to raise a question that had been posed to me by Katherine earlier in a different thread:
Is DPHH only for ASL Deaf professionals? I was given the impression by her that I’d be in the outs in an event like that because I don’t know ASL and that I have a cochlear implant, so therefore I would be not welcome.
DPHH does say, “Deaf Professional Happy Hour” and I’d appreciate feedback on this.
ahhh you’d be welcomed…. just a few out there that won’t talk to you cuz either they won’t due to an emotional reluctance or just won’t know how to talk to you.
I have a CI too, and I can use ASL, but I just won’t bring myself to go to DPHH.
You can go with me :-) The first martini you get will be on me.
ahhh, I wonder what we would talk about…. Child/Family issues? Social security? Women’s Issues? The state of Texas?
The State of Texas is always a grand choice for discussion!
yes, Texas is a grand state with many issues to talk about, especially border patrols and immigration. Didn’t the whole state send bricks to their members of congress about a year ago?
DPHH isn’t limited to “ASL Deaf Professionals.” It’s for anyone and everyone who has some interest in the deaf (Not the capital D) community and want to socialize in a respectful environment. In other words, no keg parties. I have met people who wear cochlear implants, who “yowl” instead of sign, and some people who know both ASL and Cued Speech (hey people it IS possible). So come on and “Be Yourself” at the Be Bar!
wait… “yowl?”