Later I have learned there is a medical condition called (I think) hermaphrodite (sp?) where the individual has both sets of male and female sex organs. It could be cause parents did drugs or alcohol or someone else further up ancestry did, and dna was changed.

So apparently all these years when it was discovered, doctors would pressure parents, decide now, which you want boy? girl? and have a sex change operation as an infant (so parents could tell their family and friends “oh we have a boy” or “we have a girl” rather then “we have an ‘it’ or ‘both’” which is hard to explain?

Then a year or so ago I read an article and I’ve just kicked myself for not saving it, but the researchers found out there was actual psychological differences in boys and girls that would manifest more obvious as they got to be older, maybe by age 2, and that they recommended it would be better, if at all possible, to let the hermaphrodite grow older and then see how the personality evolved and THEN make decision to have the extra sex organ removed. That is, if a kid starts acting more like a boy but looked girl, then once it became more obvious he was and acted like a boy, then remove the girl organs so his brain and hormones would be able to take over and continue on with the boy development process. Or conversely, if more obviously acting like a girl, being a girl - inside - then go ahead and remove the male organs, and she’d go ahead at that point and the hormones would go ahead and help her mature into a girl and a woman.

So not sure it makes sense because I can’t cite the exact research I read, but it does to me and so I’m comfortable when I meet people who have confided into me their “disability” when I say it’s only a “different ability” - when they see I am comfortable talking about my deafness, they seem to open up and I’ve learned a little more about each situation.

But of course others keep repressing themselves because they are not sure how to go about dealing with their conflicting feelings of “opposite sex” from what their outside sex tells them they “are”.

Hope this make sense and I really hope it does not cause anyone offense because that certainly is not my intent.

Now, I’ve talked to this friend about how he identifies himself relationship-wise. He didn’t consider himself a lesbian when he was a female and has NEVER been attracted to lesbians but at the same time, he does not have the genitals of a male so he can’t really call himself heterosexual although he acts like a straight man. It’s a really fascinating and complicated issue which he’s still figuring out. For the time being, he is searching for an open-minded straight woman who accepts him for who he is: a male with female genitals.

His own parents think he was probably born into the wrong sexual anatomy and have said they would support him having a sex change operation if he identifies as female as an adult.

And he’s an only child, so it has nothing to do with having male or female siblings. In this case, I’d say nature definitely played a big role. :) I’m just relieved that his parents recognize him for what he likes and wants, rather than trying to force him into what contrived society says males should do or be. :)

i saw neat gender divisions for the most part until i finished college. When it came to working, it depended on the industry… like i said, in academia there’s that easy demarcation for the most part. however, it’s different in business. i’ve had female co-workers and supervisors exhibit male characteristics to the point where it was ridiculous and sexist to keep on calling them “male” characteristics. got me to realize they’re constructs, and therefore fabrications.

but “construct” is the gentler of the two so i’ll use it here. back to what i was asking, how much of that third component of gender identity rests upon societal constructs?

i’d not know the answer to that, but i admit to judging my maleness (not manhood, mind you) based on the people i interact with and the portrayals the media feed me.