In the late 1950’s, a Virginia judge upheld a law declaring that blacks and whites could not marry each other. He sentenced Richard and Mildred Loving to one year in jail or 25 years of exile from Virginia for the simple crime of marrying each other - a black woman and a white man.

The Loving couple fought the ruling all the way to the Supreme Court. In 1967, the Supreme Court justices unanimously decreed that Virginia and numerous other state laws prohibiting interracial marriage were unconstitutional.

Richard and Mildred Loving have long been heros of mine. They didn’t take up the marriage torch for political reasons or to make a point to others. Rather, the Lovings did it for love. I admire them for that, and for succeeding in legitimizing their love in the eyes of the law for the most noble of reasons.

Richard Loving died in 1975. Last Friday, Mildred Loving passed away at the age of 68.

It is my sincere hope and desire that, one day soon, my partner — the man I love — and I will be able to marry. And that our two daughters would have two fathers who are married to each other. Not because it makes health insurance easier. Not because my retirement would then cover my boyfriend. Not because it would make it much, much easier to make sure one father can still keep our daughters should the other father pass away. No. It’s because we love each other.

Currently, gay men and women can marry in Massachusetts. But their marriages would not be recognized in most states. If my partner and I were to marry in Boston and then return to Maryland, little would have changed. Except, of course, for our love - which would still not be legitimized by the state nor the Federal government.

I love these thoughts from Mildred Loving, and I wanted to share these with you in closing. These thoughts are truly what loving is about.

Loving for All

By Mildred Loving

Prepared for Delivery on June 12, 2007,
The 40th Anniversary of the Loving vs. Virginia Announcement

When my late husband, Richard, and I got married in Washington, DC in 1958, it wasn’t to make a political statement or start a fight. We were in love, and we wanted to be married.

We didn’t get married in Washington because we wanted to marry there. We did it there because the government wouldn’t allow us to marry back home in Virginia where we grew up, where we met, where we fell in love, and where we wanted to be together and build our family. You see, I am a woman of color and Richard was white, and at that time people believed it was okay to keep us from marrying because of their ideas of who should marry whom.

When Richard and I came back to our home in Virginia, happily married, we had no intention of battling over the law. We made a commitment to each other in our love and lives, and now had the legal commitment, called marriage, to match. Isn’t that what marriage is?

Not long after our wedding, we were awakened in the middle of the night in our own bedroom by deputy sheriffs and actually arrested for the “crime” of marrying the wrong kind of person. Our marriage certificate was hanging on the wall above the bed. The state prosecuted Richard and me, and after we were found guilty, the judge declared: “Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.” He sentenced us to a year in prison, but offered to suspend the sentence if we left our home in Virginia for 25 years exile.

We left, and got a lawyer. Richard and I had to fight, but still were not fighting for a cause. We were fighting for our love.

Though it turned out we had to fight, happily Richard and I didn’t have to fight alone. Thanks to groups like the ACLU and the NAACP Legal Defense & Education Fund, and so many good people around the country willing to speak up, we took our case for the freedom to marry all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. And on June 12, 1967, the Supreme Court ruled unanimously that, “The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men,” a “basic civil right.”

My generation was bitterly divided over something that should have been so clear and right. The majority believed that what the judge said, that it was God’s plan to keep people apart, and that government should discriminate against people in love. But I have lived long enough now to see big changes. The older generation’s fears and prejudices have given way, and today’s young people realize that if someone loves someone they have a right to marry.

Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don’t think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the “wrong kind of person” for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people’s civil rights.

I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.