Cell Phone Etiquette for Hard of Hearing People
By Guest Blogger on Wed 26 Sep 2007 |
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By Teresa Blankmeyer Burke
I know what you’re thinking. You’re asking yourself why is there a blog about cell phone usage on a website focused on deaf people? Or perhaps you are thinking about what the rules for polite cell phone usage could be for hard of hearing people — don’t shout too loudly? Turn down your volume when people start to glare at you? Notify your callers that you have the volume turned up so loudly that everyone within 30 feet can hear your not-so-private conversation?
Although these are issues for discussion, I’m more interested in the minefield of cell phone etiquette that hard of hearing people navigate when they are in deaf spaces, that is, places where there are many deaf people — places where social mores of the signing deaf community predominate and trump hearing world norms. For the moment, I’ll define hard of hearing people as those who opt to use their hearing, such as it is (I know this definition is oversimplified, but stay with me for a few paragraphs before you start to quibble with me on this…).
I’ll out myself: I can use a phone in certain circumstances with certain people.
I can’t use it with everyone, or in any given circumstance. I use various strategies for different kinds of calls and different people, and in some situations you’ll never see me using a phone of any sort, but I do use a cell phone on occasion — especially with my family. Since I spend a good chunk of my life in a predominantly signing deaf space, I try to be sensitive to this.
To make matters more complicated, although I grew up hard of hearing in a mainstreamed hearing environment, two moments in my life stand out in stark relief: meeting signing deaf people for the first time, and (in a different context) meeting other hard of hearing people who had grown up hard of hearing and had been mainstreamed. I was a young adult when this happened: meeting my peeps was a defining life moment I rank right up there with the birth of my children!
There are times when I definitely prefer the signing deaf community, just as there are times when I prefer hanging out with hard of hearing people or even (gasp!) the hearing world. I have just as many (if not more) deaf and/or hard of hearing friends than I do hearing, and I certainly do not think that hearing or hard of hearing people are superior to deaf people (or vice versa, for whatever that is worth). I do think that people who read both Harper’s and Scientific American are superior to those who don’t, but that’s another matter…
All this is to say that I try very hard to be open-minded and culturally sensitive wherever I am, but especially in signing deaf environments, mostly because I know what it feels like to be left out of whatever communication is going on. I’ve been there way too many times in my life, and I’m not about to perpetuate any kind of behavior that closes people out of the communication loop if I can help it.
Recently I had yet another conversation with a hearing person about the appropriate protocols for using a cell phone in a predominantly signing deaf environment. Now, I’ve seen the gamut of responses from hearing people - everything from “I’m hearing and I’m gonna use a cell phone whenever I want!” to “I’m hearing, but I respect deaf people so much that I would never use a cell phone around them.” And there are the actions in between – picking up a call, but leaving the group to carry on a conversation in private, that fall under the purview of everyday cell phone etiquette for polite hearing folks.
But what about hard of hearing people who use cell phones? What should we do when the cell phone issue comes up? I’ve seen responses no different from what hearing people do — some will use a cell phone no matter what, others will opt never to use a cell phone in a situation where there are signing deaf people. There’s another, more interesting response though that I see from time to time. This is the response of denial; the response of hiding: the response of stigma and shame. I’m talking about the hard of hearing person who has a cell phone, but who doesn’t cop to using it. The person who covers up and dissembles when he is caught using a phone, for fear that this behavior will seem disrespectful or even as a betrayal to the signing deaf community. Is the very act of using a cell phone (or any phone at all, for that matter) an act of community betrayal? A rejection of community solidarity? Perhaps it is. Or maybe not. What do you think?
I’ve cobbled together three rules that I follow in signing deaf environments based on intuition, but I have no idea how this matches up to what other people think and do. Here’s what I do:
- I don’t take calls in public when I’m in a signing deaf environment unless they could possibly be emergency calls regarding family members.
- If the phone vibrates (I never hear it ring) and it is not an emergency, I let it roll over to voice mail – which tells people to send me an e-mail or text me.
- I use my cell phone when I am alone in a predominantly deaf space – in my home, my office or my car.
These seem straightforward, at least to me. Here are a few situations that are less clear and similar to those I’ve seen come up in more than a few discussions:
Example 1
Person is in a predominantly deaf space (such as a school for the deaf) and is alone in a parking lot, talking on a cell phone. Deaf people can see the person talking on the cell phone, but are far enough away that if they were hearing, they would not be able to understand the conversation, but close enough so that if it were two deaf people signing to each other, the conversation would be understandable.
Example 2
Person is walking around a track at a school for the deaf talking into a cell phone; it is night, but the track is reasonably well lit. Other people, deaf and hearing, are running and walking around the track, passing the cell phone user on occasion.
In both these cases – the person using the cell phone is alone, but within conversational range given Deaf norms of line of sight/distance. Does this matter? I suppose I’m wondering about a few things here – first, what are the general rules of etiquette for cell phone usage in a signing deaf environment; and second, are the rules different for hard of hearing people than they are for hearing people? I’m certainly no expert here – what do you think?
In my day job, I’m a philosopher. I spend most of my time thinking about ethics and values. Ethics is not etiquette, to be sure, but sometimes the purported bright line between them blurs. I think this is such a case. What I think I’m honing in on here is the bigger question of what are the core values of the signing deaf community? Of the Deaf Community? But that’s another blog…
Teresa Blankmeyer Burke was inclined at a young age towards endless questioning, she opted to put this to good use and become a philosopher. After learning that philosophers can come to bad ends when they are not sanctioned by authority (witness Socrates), Teresa decided to acquire the stamp of philosophical legitimacy by pursuing a doctorate in philosophy at the University of New Mexico. She is currently writing a dissertation on bioethics and the deaf community, focusing on the ethics of genetic technology. As does any tenure-seeking philosopher, Teresa has prepared back-up career plans in case her day job as an instructor of philosophy at Gallaudet University doesn’t pan out. Her other employable skills include adobe mud plastering, copyediting, and making quesadillas with nontraditional ingredients.
Although Teresa Blankmeyer Burke has many institutional and other affiliations, the contents of this blog represent Teresa’s personal views only, and not associated with any of her professional affiliations.
© Copyrighted material. This article cannot be copied, reproduced or redistributed without the express written consent of the author. As with every blog on this website, this blog does not reflect the opinion of DeafDC.com.
55 Comments
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This is a lovely article and a badly-needed discussion. I’m so glad to see you on here! DeafDC is very lucky to have you write for them. Thanks for outing yourself like this and sparking what I think (and hope) will be a lively, thoughtful discussion.
[…] that hard of hearing people navigate when they are in deaf spaces, that is, places where source: Cell Phone Etiquette for Hard of Hearing People, DeafDC […]
A very good write up! Glad that someone else, and not just me, had the courage to do this write-up.
Although you might want to expand why you “don’t take calls in public when I’m in a signing deaf environment.” Maybe a few more examples might be helpful even though you gave a few.
Let me clarify myself.
I have no problem using my cell phone with anyone, even those with thick accents (like those call centers who I mangaged to get an Indian (as in India) or Asian person with the thick foreign accent but that means telling them to repeat what they said. I’m not alone on this since hearing people do this, too.
Now, personally speaking, I have no problem taking a phone call in a signing environment (I have my own version of “signing environment” over yours which is why I asked you to give more examples) but depending on the call I’m not the type to stand there and gab away anyway. But I will make or take a call depending on the situation but if I’m alone I’ll take it regardless.
In one incident when I was at Gallaudet for the vlog/blog conference one of the interpreters over there took a cell phone call. The person answered it while walking toward the railing part in Ely Center and proceeded to talk. Instead the person was talking and signing at the same time on what was said into the person’s cell phone. This was on the main floor of Ely next to the conference room where the vlog/blog conference was to take place. And this was BEFORE the conference took place just to clarify to those who might think otherwise.
Now, seeing that for the first time it made me wonder. Why would that person do that? It is, after all, a “private” phone call. If a person with a Sidekick had a call would he/she voice out everything being typed out in a hearing environment? I think the interpreter tried to be courteous in a “signing environment” though it struck me as odd why the person would do that. I wouldn’t even do that myself but just talk anyway. And I have a few times while I was there. But I certainly wouldn’t want to be announcing my calls via signing for everybody to clue in on what I’m saying. It’s really none of their business since I don’t demand that I get to see what they’re writing in their Sidekicks and get half of the conversation.
For hearing people who talk on the phone, many are nosy and they try and eavesdrop on the conversation which is only half of it. Sometimes I’m guilty of trying to listen in on phone calls but we all know that’s not right. The calls are “private” and protocols among hearing people call for them to simply to ignore conversations taking place. If it’s super private then the call should be taken someplace private with little or no people around.
I think that some people need to realize that there are deaf/hh people who can use their cell phones and not be overly sensitive whenever they see one talking and listening with their cell phone. Diversity also means there is a wide range of hearing abilities among those in the deaf and hard of hearing community. It’s just not all about signing.
Why should deaf/hh people who can use their cell phone be so fearful of what the deaf community thinks? Does this signify that the deaf community is still not yet accepting of the idea of cell phone usage? Are cell phone users afraid of being made a pariah just because he or she used a cell phone on a, for example, deaf campus? Why the fear? Why the reluctance? Why the fear of being discriminated by one of your very own?
Yes, I do a lot of pondering myself on these very philosophical questions.
FYI Teresa, I actually asked readers in a poll on how well one can use the phone. The answers may surprise you.
http://kokonutpundits.blogspot.....-well.html
I enjoyed reading this. Frankly, I’d say that it all boils down to self-confidence, not “respect for others” (although that’s certainly a legitimate reason; just not necessarily the right one). People uncomfortable with using their cell phones in front of certain others may actually be uncomfortable with themselves. Deaf people uncomfortable with those using cell phones are actually uncomfortable with themselves.
At least, that’s how *I* would interpret it. A similar experience — I’m very uncomfortable wearing my CI in front of deaf people, and it took a long time for me to realize that *I* was at fault for feeling this way — not others.
I’ve never thought about this issue before. I tend to use the phone by myself at home because it’s a lot quieter, and it’s hard for me to hear the person on the line in a loud environment, whether it be deaf or hearing, because both can be pretty loud.
Not intending to go off on a different subject, but as a related topic, I’d like to add another example to this…
What about those Deaf/HOH individuals who prefer to use VCO (Voice Carry Over) when making relay calls?
I actually got criticized once by a Deaf individual for using my voice when I was making a VRS call - the person asked “why would an individual who knows ASL use their own voice on a VRS call??? You should let the interpreter voice for you!”
It just so happens that I prefer using my own voice… that way I can use my own words, instead of having to rely on an interpreter’s choice of words.
The fact that I can and do speak when using relay services (those that support VCO usage) shouldn’t have a bearing on my status as a member of the Deaf Community. And yet, people do seem to view me differently when they discover that I do in fact use VCO. It’s as if that somehow changes everything… even though I’m the same person - with the same ASL skills, same viewpoints and philosophies of Deafhood, same sense of identity as a Deaf person, etc. etc.
What’s the etiquette surrounding this? Should I refrain from using VCO in those situations where I might be observed by another Deaf individual, and instead turn off my voice and use ASL instead? Is it fair to expect me to do so?
What’s the general feeling about Deaf people who use VCO on Relay Services?
Yes! I lipread so I can tell when the interpreter is not saying exactly what I’m saying (and sometimes ad-libbing as well). This irritates me sometimes. However, I don’t use VCO because I’m usually calling people about job openings.
I’m like noelle, i only use the cell phone at home because it’s quiet…and i only use it to talk to my parents and my sister. But other than that, I can’t really understand other people!
i didn’t realize there was some kind of cell phone etiquette, per using a cell phone in a dominately signing environment. I guess I don’t notice it because I don’t use the cell phone unless i’m by myself (i require absolute silence). but i have a couple friends who do use the cellphone, but they only use it to make plans, and not hold conversations. I don’t find it offensive at all. now if someone were to answer their phone and proceed to have a conversation while we’re out doing something together, I find that rude, just as I find someone proceeding to text their friends as if they’re having a regular conversation. Doesn’t it go both ways?
as for the vco thing, i rather use it than use the interpreter to voice for me. simply because when i sign, i don’t feel like I’d sign exactly what i’m trying to say verballly. It just leaves a lot more mistakes and misunderstandings to chance.
I think the common cell phone etiquette here is not to hold a long conversation on the cell phone when you’re out with your friends or someone you know, because you’re effectively ignoring them.
I find it annoying when my older brother takes calls on his cell phone during dinner. I think it’s simple courtesy to say, “I can’t talk right now. I’m having dinner with my family, and I’ll call you after.”
That’s what I say if my mom calls me when I’m out with my friends.
Makes perfect sense to me.
I’m a culturally Deaf person (born Deaf, grew up in Deaf schools, used ASL all my life, etc) and I can tell you that Deaf people don’t appreciate it when hearing people don’t sign in front of Deaf people, because it’s considered “leaving Deaf people out” or “blocking them out”.
This also carries over in the area of phone/cellphone use. It is considered rude for a hearing person to use phone and leave the Deaf person out (since obviously, other hearing people can hear what the hearing person on phone is saying!).
Extend that rule to hard of hearing people…it is still considered rude to leave Deaf people out when the hard of hearing person is using phone/cell phone. Additionally, the hard of hearing person who uses phone/cell phone is seen by culturally Deaf people as “rubbing it in” (whether it is intentional or unintentional) or “acting hearing” or “being superior”, and naturally culturally Deaf people don’t appreciate it.
Michele,
Does that mean the deaf person must sign what they are typing on their pagers? If not, what’s the difference?
Shane,
Personally, I do think that the use of pagers in public have gotten way out of control. (to the point of rudeness, actually.)
If it was up to me, I think everyone who uses pagers should excuse themselves and go off somewhere to check their pagers instead of staying with a person or with their group and ignoring the conversation around them while they read/respond to their paged messages.
It’s just a fact that hearing people are seen as the majority, and for them to NOT sign what they say on their phones/cell phones when they are around Deaf people is considered a no-no (rudeness) by Deaf people.
Therefore, that same perception extends to HOH who use phones/cell phones.
It’s just how it is seen by culturally Deaf people. That particular perception has been around for over 100 years now (I remember many Deaf grandparents, senior citizens complaining about hearing and HOH making calls and not signing when I was little) and it’s not going to change anytime soon, if ever.
As I understand it, sign language requires the use of two hands, so wouldn’t it be, well, difficult for hearing people to sign during a telephone call since they’re holding onto the receiver with one hand?
Noelle, you can sign clearly with just one hand. You don’t need both hands.
So it’s possible for hearing people to hold a phone and sign with the other hand. It can be done and has been done.
Shane,
Obviously, deaf people don’t sign what they are typing on their pagers, otherwise more of them would be doing it.
The difference is, hearing people are the *majority*. It is just considered rude by culturally Deaf people for hearing people to NOT sign conversations, phone calls, etc.
This is similar to black people using the N-word only with each other, while whites aren’t allowed to use the N-word with black people, even if they’re best friends or whatever. It just isn’t allowed.
This goes to the concept of majority/minority thing.
(Now, technically, oral deaf/HOH aren’t the “majority”…but if they adopt the behaviors used by majority (hearing), then they are seen as belonging to that majority and therefore are subject to the rule of “signing when you’re around a Deaf person”.)
That’s the best explanation I can give you, Shane. I sure hope you get it.
Michelle, this is exactly what I was thinking about - the cultural norm of, uh, what to call it…’communication inclusion’ in the Deaf community. Many hard of hearing people share the experience of being excluded from spoken communication, and my sense is that because of this heightened awareness, there may be something more at play than standard “hearing person” cell phone etiquette when a hard of hearing person considers using a cell phone in a predominantly deaf space/signing environment.
Right, Teresa.
It is up to HOH to be aware of the Deaf culture norms…if they choose to ignore such norms, then they shouldn’t be suprised when they get negative reactions.
(the same is true for hearing people, by the way.)
It’s just a matter of respecting Deaf culture…especially if you want to live in it and maintain friendships/relationships within that culture, etc.
I think it also has to do on where you are and who you are with (or not in this case). This broaches the topic on the area of relative privacy in a phone conversation.
Suppose a lone person sitting at a cafeteria table in some corner while there are several Deaf people still in the cafeteria at a few tables nearby some 30 or 40 feet away (maybe closer!). The person gets a phone call, picks it up and start talking while he or she eats. A call from a friend and starts gabbing away. It’s a conversation between two friends. Why should that person sign while he/she talks if its a conversation that has no interest or bearing for the nearby cafeteria eaters? I see it more from a privacy point of view rather than the inclusiveness point of view in this particular case.
I like that idea “communication inclusion.”
I’m a little disturbed by the direction that this conversation is going, though. As an HH adult that has good days, and bad days. Days where I can’t hear. Days when I can. I can only use the cell phone every now and then… and frankly the conversation is so stressful anyway… that it make tinnitus occur where none was and there goes the conversation, completely, anyway. I use relay services for important calls and VCO for family — they like to hear my voice.
And it’s that stress issue that I’d like to come back to: because the HH adult is often excluded from ALL conversation. With a minimal understanding of ASL (if at all) and poor ability to understand oral communication. Especially, if you are me, in large groups.
So who am I then? Who are we then? We are the complete outsider in this. And frankly, I find the idea that cultural norms cannot be changed — it was also cultural normal to bash gays. Lynch blacks. Exclude Asians.
Everyone, of course, needs to be aware of other people’s communication needs and strategies. But their have to be bridges. My partner is foreign born — he has an accent. It’s very discomforting to him when someone gives him sh*t about not understanding him. And doesn’t give it a shot. Or automatically thinks he isn’t smart because he has an accent. He works at a restaurant where there are several languages spoken, not all of them the same. And yet, they are able to communicate. He’s learned an amazing amount about his coworkers, some who don’t speak his native language or his second language. And I think that’s inspirational.
He and I have communication problems at times, too, but we learn to adjust. Everyone should want to communicate first and foremost — and include as best as they are able. And that’s a two way street.
It’s rude only if the Deaf person is actually a part of the phone conversation and not some phone call made specifically for the cell phone user alone.
I don’t demand that Sidekick users keep me in the loop of what being said/written anymore that I demand that cell phone users keep me in the loop of what’s being said. If you’re going to demand something out this then extend the same courtesy the other way around, too. But I don’t see that happening anyway.
People shouldn’t have to run and hide every time they need to use or pick up their cell phone call because a few might see it as “rubbing it in” or “acting hearing” (which is a bit laughable in my point of view). People shouldn’t judge on other people’s ability to use their cell phone or not. And cell phone users shouldn’t run and hide in fear of embarrassment (to self or to others).
JMHO.
Well, I agree with you for the most part.
However, it is an interpreter’s job to make the Deaf person aware of all noise within 20-30 feet of that Deaf person. For example, a terp would point behind me and sign, “Man.Says.Blah.Blah” or point out that a phone was ringing in the back ground. The point is that a terp needs to make all sounds available to everyone available to their client too.
Personally, I don’t mind if the terp doesn’t terp a phone convo. I couldn’t care less…but some might care.
This was the interpreter’s own time and not during the interpreter’s paid time. It was phone call to the interpreter and not to any Deaf person.
McConnell…it’s not “few” who feel that way. It’s a Deaf Culture thing.
It’s obvious to me that you’re not a member of Deaf Culture, because you have a poor understanding of the nuances and rules and expectations shared by members of Deaf Culture.
Remember, Deaf Culture is just as valid as French culture, Spanish culture, African culture, etc.
Michele, I understand the “rules” very much so. The “culture thing,” the nuances and all that. You’re making a lot of assumptions about me. And you are, in fact, sadly mistakened on what I do know and not know. Exactly what do you know about me that makes you come to the conclusion that I don’t understand Deaf culture (while at the same time I’m trying to keep a straight face here as I type this).
On what grounds do you think I am not a member of “Deaf culture”? Based on what? Is this an exclusive club that only VIPs are invited?
Based on your comments above, and in other posts of yours, it’s obvious that you have very limited understanding of Deaf culture, because if you did, you would never make such comments as you have done.
Which comments? What other posts? You need to clarify where.
Again, I’m smiling. You have no idea, Michele.
Oh God. I really didn’t want to go to the trouble of copying & pasting, McConnell.
However, I will….I’m limiting myself to just this article, because it just would take up way too much of my time to go to other articles and copy/paste your comments there, etc.
OK, here goes…comments you have made here which a culturally Deaf person would never say:
“Now, personally speaking, I have no problem taking a phone call in a signing environment”
“I think the interpreter tried to be courteous in a “signing environment” though it struck me as odd why the person would do that. I wouldn’t even do that myself but just talk anyway.”
“I think that some people need to realize that there are deaf/hh people who can use their cell phones and not be overly sensitive whenever they see one talking and listening with their cell phone.”
“Why should deaf/hh people who can use their cell phone be so fearful of what the deaf community thinks? Does this signify that the deaf community is still not yet accepting of the idea of cell phone usage?”
The last quote above, McConnell, shows very clearly you have no idea what a culturally Deaf person thinks or feels. If you were a culturally Deaf person, you would know the answers to these questions already.
Those few comments of mine do not do anything to justify your “conclusions” about me concerning my knowledge on Deaf culture. I continue to shake my head over this. You are reading a wee tad too much into all this. Perhaps that’s an understatement. And about that last quote, it doesn’t prove anything except that you have a wild imagination. If I didn’t know any better I’d say your actions would seem to indicate that you are against deaf people using their cell phones to talk.
In this discussion we have seen that there is a wide variety of hearing ability among Deaf people who can use their cell phone. Some good. Some can do so without much problems while others have limitations using it while most prefer texting. Cell phone use on college campuses (NTID, Gally, etc) or in a “signing environment” is a relatively new thing that has been happening lately. I have asked legitimate questions about the perceive use of cell phones. and the manner deaf and hard of hearing people would use in a “signing environment” (e.g. Gallaudet campus). Why do you think Burke decided to write a blog on cell phone etiquette? Because the cell phone scene is relatively a new thing we’re seeing and experiencing in deaf spaces.
You purposely took my words out of context using only a short comment of mine without showing the whole paragraph that put into proper perspective.
““Now, personally speaking, I have no problem taking a phone call in a signing environment”.
Below is my whole paragraph that contains the context of what I was talking about.
“Now, personally speaking, I have no problem taking a phone call in a signing environment (I have my own version of “signing environment” over yours which is why I asked you to give more examples) but depending on the call I’m not the type to stand there and gab away anyway. But I will make or take a call depending on the situation but if I’m alone I’ll take it regardless.”
So, when I say “signing environment” it may be in the form of small group gathering, on the wide open campus while students are walking about minding their own business, at the Student Union to congregate and chat, the dormitory, the tv lounge, at a mall for a monthly gathering, or just with one or two of your deaf/hh friends. I’ve already made clear that taking a call would depend on the situation, location and the people I’m with (or not).
Deaf people are either overly sensitive or they are not on various Deaf-related issues. Just because one disagrees or sees it from a different perspective is not necessarily indicative on lacking “Deaf culture” knowledge. It is my nature to question these things as evident in my blogs and in other deaf forums. I see things differently as do many others. I agree with many things as do others. I disagree with many things. What you have done, Michele, is make discriminatory judgments against me based on a few opinions. Once again, you have struck out with your conspiracy theories.
“If I didn’t know any better I’d say your actions would seem to indicate that you are against deaf people using their cell phones to talk.”
A clarification. Not making a charge there but then again who am I to make that kind of an assertion based on a few comments?
As a culturally Deaf person who might occasionally use a VCO when calling my hearing children, it seems rude for other people to take any calls in my presence, whether it is by cell, Sidekick, whether they are deaf, Deaf or hearing. The implication is that my presence is not wanted. I appreciate it more if the person excuses themselves and goes somewhere where privacy is expected.
Hearing people also hate it when cell phones are used around them. It is different when one is using a landline phone since these are usually located where some privacy is expected–booths, desks, offices, or end walls.
With cell phones or handhelds, people are more likely to be around others. At least ducking into a quiet hallway, by a tree or around a corner is courteous. If that is not possible, making the call brief (less than a couple of minutes) is courteous. The idea is not to appear to cut out the other person or make them feel like a third party.
Good topic, Teresa! I would use the same etiquette that hearing people use, with only slight modifications. For instance, you used the example of cell phone usage in the parking lot, out of earshot, but not out of eyesight.
My suggestion would be to get in your car and conduct the conversation. Because if I walk by in a parking lot, and see two people conversing in a car, I know that means it’s a private conversation, so I won’t look. So I think that applies equally well to cell phone usage. If I see someone sitting in their car, using their cell phone, then it wouldn’t bother me.
As for the track example, that’s more iffy for me. I guess the question would be, if it was a hearing person doing that around other hearing people, would anyone object? I would think some might… because you’re there to use the track, not to stand there and use the cell phone.
Deaf Pundit - Philosophers love ‘hard cases’ like the track example precisely because of the range of answers they elicit, such as yours. I confess, I have no idea whether a hearing person would find it annoying if a person walking around the track is talking into a cell phone - I guess I’m not sure how this would be different (from the hearing perspective) than the case of two friends walking around the track together and gabbing. If you are blocking the track, sure, this is a problem, but if you are following standard track etiquette (slower people on outside lanes, and letting faster people pass) I’m not sure if it is a problem.
Yo, hearing people! Your feedback on this?
Now, would it make any different if they had one of these cell phone device that you can clip it on your ear?
For me, it makes no difference as long as, like you said, they’re not blocking the track lanes just standing there.
I used to have a Verizon cell phone but used it for texting. You could get two phones for the price of one or something like that so it was a good family deal… but I figured out pretty quickly that it was hard to type on those things. Have a Sidekick now and really like it.
I’d say that if you want to take a cell phone call using voice/hearing and you’re in a signing environment, just don’t send out the attitude of “Ha I can hear/speak and you can’t,” and I think that should pretty much cover it.
You know, kind of a related side-point here… one thing I’m getting kind of sick of is trying to have a “private” conversation with another signer and then being dragged to some remote corner or something because there’s too many “eyes” around (people who sign who might see the conversation). You almost start feeling like you’re back in East Germany or something in the 80s with the KGB around every corner. If anyone’s THAT interested in my private conversations I’d say you need to take up playing Halo or something, man… get some juice in your blood some other way…
Halo?
Dude, HALO! As in Halo, Halo 2, and Halo 3! First person, shoot-em-up, aliens-taking-over-everything-and-it’s-up-to-you-to-stop-’em video game!
(The soldier in the armor being held by the neck by a roaring alien that looks like a cross between a moose and a Mack truck? Seen the ads on television?)
No. If it’s like Quake then I get the idea.
It’s like Quake, yeah. Better though (in my opinion).
How come no topics about Deaf Gamers?
There was a deaf gamer web site out there somewhere. I don’t know if it’s still around. But then again, a lot of problems the deaf gamer pointed out were voiceovers that were not captioned, especially in RPGs. That’s why I mainly focus on strategy games.
That’s why I buy popular RPGS, such as NeverWinter Nights, and the Elder Scrolls series.. The latest one in the Scrolls series, Oblivion, has subtitles and won several awards.
Cool. Glad to hear that the game companies are addressing that need.
Chris, that’s another cultural rule…culturally Deaf people understand that anything you say (sign) in public is going to be seen by anyone who wants to look.
Of course, polite people aren’t supposed to look, but it is generally known that there are always a few who will look.
So therefore, if you don’t want anyone to see what you’re saying, you gotta hide your signs or wait until you’re alone with the person you want to speak with to guarantee total privacy.
If you think about it, hearing people are the same way: they’re not supposed to “hear” conversations that they’re not part of, and most will tune out, but there are always a few who will listen.
Therefore, the hearing person will whisper or wait until s/he is alone with the other person to guarantee that no one overhears their conversation.
No difference, really.
Hi Michele:
That’s true (about hearing people being the same way). I just never bother to hide my signs anyway. No real point.
Not to hijack this too much, but how is this different from those who use their pagers at public events? My pet peeve? watching 3-4 people at a group dinner and seeing their heads aimed at the glow on their pagers. If people frown on cell usage at the table, then for cripe’s sake, put down your pagers too.
I think the next time i see someone banging away on their pager, I’ll bump into them and pray it falls to the floor. oppsie. :-)
I’m with you!! That’s one reason I absolutely refuse to have a pager, much to my husband’s, my friends’ and my co-workers’ dismay. Sorry about that! If I’m needed, I’m reachable by email and by my landline phone/VP — eventually. When I’m at a public event, I’m there to enjoy the company of others. I’m not going to be interrupted by a pager. Why can’t others do the same? The same rule applies to cell phone!
I have a general rule when I go out with friends: No pagers at the table. I do make exceptions, such as last week when I was out to dinner and received an email from a potential employer which required an immediate (but BRIEF!) response. But I really don’t see why people can’t hold their AIM conversations until the meal is finished. Isn’t that what away messages are for?
As for the original topic of this post… I am hearing, and I will use my phone when there are deaf people around if I have to. Do I like doing it? No. I don’t like talking on the phone in front of hearing people either. In both situations I excuse myself and leave the area if I can. If it’s not an important call, I’ll tell the caller I’m out and I’ll call back later. Simple as that.
**off the point**
“I do think that people who read both Harper’s and Scientific American are superior to those who don’t, but that’s another matter…” I giggled at this because I had a conversation with someone a few days ago. I sometimes suspect that people who left comment regularly or wrote blogs for DeafDC are considered superior to other blogs shown on DeafRead. I disagree but hey it’s what some people viewed DeafDC as. I believe it has something to do with “English fear.” To ALL DeafDC readers, please do feel free to write your comments. I do not care about your not-so-perfect English grammar. I’d love to hear from you.
**back to the point**
Teresa, nice post on an interesting topic!
Ha! I wondered if anyone would pick up on this. It was a feeble attempt at humor - though I suspect that if I randomly polled my friends, more would fall into the Harper’s and Scientific American category than not… Both these magazines tend to embrace complicated subjects and shy away from reducing everything to simple answers, and I guess that’s why I appreciate them.
I couldn’t agree more with your request to encourage more people to post, regardless of “English fear”. I, too, would love to see what other opinions and ideas are floating out there; I really don’t give a hoot about perfect English grammar on blog posts. (On philosophy papers, well, that’s another matter…)
I am hearing. I am sorry, but can I ask the obvious — WHY is it impolite to use a cell phone in front of Deaf people? And why is it any more impolite than in front of hearing people/strangers? Is it a jealousy thing? If so, that’s plain weird, because I certainly don’t get offended when people are speaking a different language that I don’t understand in public.
Amelia,
Historically, hearing people have shut out Deaf people in conversations for many decades. They have told Deaf people such things as “None of your business”, “Never mind”, “It’s not important”, etc.
Same thing with phone calls…especially when there are other hearing people around and can hear what the caller is saying, and the Deaf person doesn’t know what’s going on while everyone else does.
Therefore, Deaf people are very sensitive about being left out or shut out of conversations and phone calls (especially when they’re done in public and/or in front of others who know what’s going on).
Also, from Deaf culture point of view, hearing people are seen as the majority, and for them to NOT sign what they say on their phones/cell phones (as well as conversations) when they are around Deaf people is considered a no-no (rudeness) by Deaf people.
I disagree on one particular aspect (and there are probably a few more, too). If it’s a phone call just for that person and he/she is alone and deaf people are milling about in a public place, those deaf people do not need to know what’s being said into the cell phone of that person doing the listening and talking. It’s a matter of certain privacy whether the person is standing still or walking around with his cell phone in hand.
Wow… I think this is hypocritical. Who cares who is around you- deaf or hearing- when you decide to answer your mobile device? Why is it bad or rude for a hearing or HoH person to answer their phone in a deaf environment when deaf people do this all the time? No deaf, HoH or hearing person can not tell me that they have not experienced being in a conversation with another deaf person, only to be interupted by their companion answering their pagers, which is just plain rude.
No one, whether deaf, hearing, or hard of hearing should be answering their mobiles in the middle of social events with other deaf people/hearing people unless they can do it discreetly. I rarely, if ever check my own pager when I am out with my friends. I only check if there is a lull, or if I am able to step away, or if I am expecting something important- and then I always apologize and excuse myself. All people should be held to the same standards.
If a hearing or HoH person does answer their phone, why should we expect them to share what their conversation is about? Do we expect our deaf companions to tell us everything they are saying to their cyber buddies? Just because deaf are a minority and are sensitive to being left out; believe me, I am deaf, I know, doesn’t mean we should put our neurosis’ on our hearing companions. By deaf people putting different expectations or norms on hearing people than on deaf people, we are guilty of AUDISM! YES! Deaf people can be AUDISTS!
If the person is by him or herself in the middle of a track or even a lobby at a deaf school, so what? Why is it okay for a deaf person to gab away on their pagers but not okay for hearing or HoH on their cell phones? Of course, hearing people have their own rules of etiquitte when it comes to cell phone uses… They need to remember that some people in their environment may be able to hear and understand their “private” conversation, otherwise, just use common sense.
In sum, we should have the same norms and expections when answering mobile devices for all people regarding of hearing status.
[…] of Teresa Blankmeyer Burke. She wrote two recent guest blogs for us: The Queen of Supertitles and Cell Phone Etiquette for Hard of Hearing People. A semi-transplanted westerner, Teresa comes to Washington DC by way of Albuquerque, New Mexico, […]