No one, whether deaf, hearing, or hard of hearing should be answering their mobiles in the middle of social events with other deaf people/hearing people unless they can do it discreetly. I rarely, if ever check my own pager when I am out with my friends. I only check if there is a lull, or if I am able to step away, or if I am expecting something important- and then I always apologize and excuse myself. All people should be held to the same standards.

If a hearing or HoH person does answer their phone, why should we expect them to share what their conversation is about? Do we expect our deaf companions to tell us everything they are saying to their cyber buddies? Just because deaf are a minority and are sensitive to being left out; believe me, I am deaf, I know, doesn’t mean we should put our neurosis’ on our hearing companions. By deaf people putting different expectations or norms on hearing people than on deaf people, we are guilty of AUDISM! YES! Deaf people can be AUDISTS!

If the person is by him or herself in the middle of a track or even a lobby at a deaf school, so what? Why is it okay for a deaf person to gab away on their pagers but not okay for hearing or HoH on their cell phones? Of course, hearing people have their own rules of etiquitte when it comes to cell phone uses… They need to remember that some people in their environment may be able to hear and understand their “private” conversation, otherwise, just use common sense.

In sum, we should have the same norms and expections when answering mobile devices for all people regarding of hearing status.

I’m a little disturbed by the direction that this conversation is going, though. As an HH adult that has good days, and bad days. Days where I can’t hear. Days when I can. I can only use the cell phone every now and then… and frankly the conversation is so stressful anyway… that it make tinnitus occur where none was and there goes the conversation, completely, anyway. I use relay services for important calls and VCO for family — they like to hear my voice.

And it’s that stress issue that I’d like to come back to: because the HH adult is often excluded from ALL conversation. With a minimal understanding of ASL (if at all) and poor ability to understand oral communication. Especially, if you are me, in large groups.

So who am I then? Who are we then? We are the complete outsider in this. And frankly, I find the idea that cultural norms cannot be changed — it was also cultural normal to bash gays. Lynch blacks. Exclude Asians.

Everyone, of course, needs to be aware of other people’s communication needs and strategies. But their have to be bridges. My partner is foreign born — he has an accent. It’s very discomforting to him when someone gives him sh*t about not understanding him. And doesn’t give it a shot. Or automatically thinks he isn’t smart because he has an accent. He works at a restaurant where there are several languages spoken, not all of them the same. And yet, they are able to communicate. He’s learned an amazing amount about his coworkers, some who don’t speak his native language or his second language. And I think that’s inspirational.

He and I have communication problems at times, too, but we learn to adjust. Everyone should want to communicate first and foremost — and include as best as they are able. And that’s a two way street.

Suppose a lone person sitting at a cafeteria table in some corner while there are several Deaf people still in the cafeteria at a few tables nearby some 30 or 40 feet away (maybe closer!). The person gets a phone call, picks it up and start talking while he or she eats. A call from a friend and starts gabbing away. It’s a conversation between two friends. Why should that person sign while he/she talks if its a conversation that has no interest or bearing for the nearby cafeteria eaters? I see it more from a privacy point of view rather than the inclusiveness point of view in this particular case.

For me, it makes no difference as long as, like you said, they’re not blocking the track lanes just standing there.

I couldn’t agree more with your request to encourage more people to post, regardless of “English fear”. I, too, would love to see what other opinions and ideas are floating out there; I really don’t give a hoot about perfect English grammar on blog posts. (On philosophy papers, well, that’s another matter…)

Yo, hearing people! Your feedback on this?

As for the original topic of this post… I am hearing, and I will use my phone when there are deaf people around if I have to. Do I like doing it? No. I don’t like talking on the phone in front of hearing people either. In both situations I excuse myself and leave the area if I can. If it’s not an important call, I’ll tell the caller I’m out and I’ll call back later. Simple as that.

It is up to HOH to be aware of the Deaf culture norms…if they choose to ignore such norms, then they shouldn’t be suprised when they get negative reactions.

(the same is true for hearing people, by the way.)

It’s just a matter of respecting Deaf culture…especially if you want to live in it and maintain friendships/relationships within that culture, etc.