By Robert E. Johnson
Discussion of the Revision of the School’s Name Replaces Last Spring’s Turmoil Over the Appointment of a New President
Gallaudet University, in Washington, D.C., is well-known as the world’s premier institution for the higher education of deaf students and professionals in fields associated with deaf education and services. Last spring there was turmoil over the appointment of a new president to replace Dr. I. King Jordan, the institution’s first deaf president, who himself rose to office through a tumultuous “revolution” in the late ’80s.
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| One Proposal for Renaming Gallaudet Robert Johnson, Professor of Linguistics, demonstrates his proposed spelling of the university name, which is derived by dropping the letter s. Several university vehicles, including this cart, were re-labeled to test the popularity of this idea. |
This fall, the discussion has turned to more academic topics, however, as the school considers the revision of the spelling of its name. Two proposals have been forwarded by the administration and have been under discussion by the community at large. Both relate the need to cut costs in the school budget. Last year, financial analysts determined that the institution could save substantially by eliminating one letter from all words in printed documents. This would result, they proposed, in a roughly 4% savings in printer ink and paper, as much as $10,000 per year in an institution this size. To bring attention to the program, the community plans to eliminate a letter that occurs in its name.
The difficulty has been in deciding which letter to eliminate, though all agree that a more frequent letter would save more money. Dr. Robert E. Johnson, a professor of Linguistics, proposed dropping the letter s, which, he points out, is the most frequent consonant in English print.
In response to this proposal several vehicles were re-labeled with the proposed university name: Gallaudet Univerity. One was left near the university library for several years.
However, some argued that the word univerity could be analyzed as one-truth and that, because there is so little agreement on the campus about what a single truth might be, the elimination of s would be problematic. Moreover, a professor of psychology argued that ordinary academic sentences such as “You’re o tupid.” would be particularly difficult to understand if this proposal were adopted. In addition, the fact that the change on the cart went largely unnoticed for nearly five years led to the search for a more noticeable letter.
This year, the administration began the testing of an alternative proposal: to eliminate the letter r from all university print materials. To guarantee a wider exposure of the test materials, the plastic bags used by the university bookstore were revised to reflect the proposed change in the university name.
Proposal Adopted, Name Now Officially Gallaudet Univesity
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Alternative Proposal for New University Name Adopted |
Last week, D. Jodan, the etiing pesident, announced the adoption of the poposal. “As of this this week, the use of that lette is pohibited in all pint, vocal and signed communication, and, because its use is fobidden” he poclaimed in a majo addess to the Univesity Boad of Tustees, “we will now efe to it simply as the r-lette. I, fo one, am vey pleased with the esults so fa. Esponse has been gatifying. In fact, I will popose the policy to the Washington Consotium of Univesities next week. If we can spead this idea, the Fedeal govenment could save a geat deal of money on pinting costs, not to mention the impact it would have on natual esouces such as pape, which is fom tees. It is a tuly geen idea. I am poud to have ou univesity at the foefont of this movement. It has been woth evey dop of pespiation.” As of this pinting, thee have been no comments fom Geogetown o Mayland.
Campus Opinion Positive
Othe campus individuals have been equally positive about the change in the name in paticula and the pactice in geneal. The psychology pofesso cited earlie agees that “You’e so stupid.” is much moe compehensible unde the new policy.
Even Johnson has become convinced of the value of the new plan. He agues that, in addition to the obvious budgetay benefits, it will be valuable in intoducing moe balance into the long-standing asymmety in the intellectual balance of tade between Washington and New England. Fo yeas ideas have been flowing south from Havad and MIT with little o nothing moving to the noth. Johnson has poposed shipping all the unused r’s to Boston. “They can use them thee in wods such as pahk, cah, and Hahvahd,” Johnson says. “They have been suffeing a shotage of the r-lette fo centuies.” Johnson, also fome Associate Dean of Gaduate Education on the campus, has poposed a new gaduate student ecuiting tag line: “Come to Gallaudet Univesity fo a Shot Spell.”
D. Jane K. Fenandes, embattled Pesident Elect of the Univesity, though attled by ecent events, announced he suppot fo the change. “Not only does it demonstate that the univesity is citically concened about impotant issues such as the envionment and global waming, but it is especially appopiate and elevant at Gallaudet,” she poclaimed, “because when you fist look at it, it looks like university but it’s eally not.”
Robert E. Johnson is a professor in the linguistics department at Gallaudet University. He got his BA in psychology at Stanford University, then his PhD in anthropology at Washington State University. He’s interested in the study of sign languages and their place in deaf communities. His work has been focused in several primary areas: the phonology and morphology of American Sign Language, the development of a phonetic notation system for sign languages, understanding the role of language in the formation and maintenance of deaf communities in various parts of the world, and the role of language and natural language acquisition in the education of young deaf children.
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21 Comments
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Is this a joke???
Of couse not.
What a joke! when it come out, Gallaudet will become a laughing stock in the world. Is that how we want for Gallaudet?
it is a good satie since it has gotten some fooled thinking it is eal.
I think DeafDC will give Onion a un for its money :)
No, it’s a finely tuned satire based on misspellings that have actually occurred. Thanks, you made my laugh for the day!
DPG
This reminds me of the Carter’s ‘Twee Doller Bill’ joke.
Richard
Vey clevely witten- and we all needed this beak! Youe geat, obet.
I lub yu so mush, Bob!
bob, you’e such a cad!
also, if no index-cossed-ove-middle-finge handshape is allowed, that eliminates a whole class of initialized signs like OCKET, ED, OLE, OPE, IGHT, EALLY, AE, EAGAN, EFER, EFLECT, and EPESENT. hooay fo that.
can we still wite n-12x+, o would we have to leave the handshape featues blank on our tansciptions?
yous tuely,
maisa
p.s. we should look foward to Afican-Ameican Venacular English to become the standad vaiety, now that those pesky final r-lettes ae no longe eved. all togethe now: “Linguistics ules!”
Without the lette ‘r’, you post is still eadable! How about emoving ‘r’ foeve?? Can you ead me? HAHA
Heh! When I was young, I recalled having a visitor from Japan for family dinner as he was on a business trip to my dad’s company. He truly had trouble pronouncing the English “r”. It’s because that sound doesn’t exist in Japanese. My brothers and sisters laughed big time while I was lost. Of course, they explained it to me.
I loved the title teaser too.
Maybe it should’ve be the U that should’ve been removed? After all, all the hearing people *are* mispronouncing Gally as Gal-a-you-det.
Great entry. We needed the laugh. Thank you for sharing it with us!
Wonderfully written parody. That is what they do! Oh gosh, how much longer will they be allowed?
Haha! :) A great parody!
Perhaps, in time of a crisis like this, there should be a weekly journal of Onion-like puns to amuse and cheer the community up.
This is a great one, I tell you.
pefect timing or a little comic elief! thanks, D . Johnson. I’m glad some of us still have a sense of humo!
Mny yers ao I ued t lve pems nw I dnt.
The brain can easily decode this without any difficulty.
Yes, only to those who have a basic understanding of English.
Well, Rob, then how do YOU pronounce Gallaudet??
For the sake of humor, go to:
http://www.joeybaer.com/?p=24
and look for John Maucere’s attempt at prounuciation of Gallaudet when he recited orally, “We love Gallaudet,” after giving the ASL version during Los Angeles’s FSSA Tent City.
that was hilarious, Bob! we luv u for your humor. and is that picture real or what? i like it without the “s”..