By Fred Royer

My oh my, how times flies! It only seems like yesterday Ricky Williams was once again found passed out on the street, curled around a bong and week four is already upon us. Let’s not waste any more time, and get right down to business.

Arizona at Atlanta:

Smart money is on Atlanta, duh! Even with Matt “one night in Paris” Leinart potentially making his first career start, ‘Zona has no chance to beat ‘Lanta at home. Falcons by 14.

Dallas at Tennessee:

If you’ve got money to burn, bet on the Flaming Thumb Tacks. Otherwise, the Bovine Boys by at least 3 touchdowns.

Indianapolis at New York Jets:

This is something of a curiosity. The Jokes are playing well behind a rejuvenated Chad Pennington. Still, smart odds have the Ponies by 9. Consider yourself lucky if it’s any closer than that.

Miami at Houston:

Please! Houston might as well not even bother to show up, the way they’ve been playing since inception. At least Charlotte had a competitive team from the moment they took the field.

Minnesota at Buffalo:

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Once the losers of 4 straight Super Bowls, they’re now the equivalent of Thurman Thomas looking for his helmet. Minnesota in a blowout.

New Orleans at Carolina:

New Orleans is on something on an emotional upsurge lately, but someone forgot to tell them games are played on paper. Carolina should handle them by 10 points, but don’t be surprised if it comes down to a field goal.

San Diego at Baltimore:

This will probably be the most exciting, closely played game of the weekend. Smart money has Baltimore winning at home, but don’t count out Marty Ball, especially a hard-hitting defense with a nose for the ball. Baltimore by a field goal.

San Francisco at Kansas City:

Ready for a song I just thought up on the spot? Picture Mike Nolan singing: San Francisco, open your golden gates, open your gates and LET ME OUT. Kansas City in a blowout, even with Damon “I’m not Brock” Huard under center.

Detroit at Saint Louis:

The Rams in a laugher. Matt Millen should be ashamed of himself. Did he and Dubya get separated at birth, or what?

Cleveland at Oakland:

If you’re a glutton for punishment, this is the game for you. Otherwise, Cleveland should be able to handle the lowly Raiders.

Jacksonville at Washington:

The Jacksonville defense has a reputation for hard-hitting, witness their Monday night shutout against the Stealers, anyone? Did you see Hines Ward get his bell rung all night? Still, the ‘Skins at home, with Clinton Portis… smart money has them winning by one point.

New England at Cincinnati:

Finally, Marvin Lewis will show how smart he was giving away Corey Dillon. The Bengals will maul the lowly (at least on offense) Pats. Expect another 4 touchdown outing from Golden Boy Carson Palmer, who has finally laid the ghost of Boomer Esiason to rest, despite Boomer being alive and well (sorry Boomer!).

Seattle at Chicago:

Chicago came from behind to beat the Vikings last week and silenced some of their doubters. They will play another competitive team in the Seabirds this weekend, but sadly, without Shaun Alexander getting his 30 touches, it won’t be enough to topple the Monsters of the Midway. Chicago by 10 points.

Green Bay at Philadelphia:

I hope Brett Favre kicks the crap out of the Beagles. Smart money has the Beagles winning by a touchdown at home. Here’s hoping Brett has enough left in the gas tank to show Donovan McNabb what a real NFL QB looks and plays like.

That’s all, folks! As always, these are not to be used as betting purposes. Unless I’m taking the bets.

Fred Royer is a Navy brat who graduated from WT Woodson High School and Virginia Commonwealth University (Class of ‘99, BA in Philosophy) and has returned to the area after several years of wanderlust, including an epic cross-country drive to Alaska where he stayed for 5 months near Denali. Fred is currently a defense contractor in Falls Church, Virginia .