One day, I had a conversation with my sisters about finances, marriage and all that jazz. We brought this up because boyfriend is moving in with me. Big step, I know! I know I’m much more nervous than boyfriend is. And I wanted to know how we might go about buying a place, would we do it together or not? How would it work if I put more money down than he did, or vice versa? Anything to do with finances really confuses me, despite my efforts to understand it a little better.

One of my sisters said that if I  get married, that I need to consider a prenup. It wasn’t something I  really considered doing. This is simply based on the fact that I’ve always thought that when someone asks for a prenup, it sounds like a couple that doesn’t trust each other. However, she made a valid point, the money that I have in stocks is mine, and should remain mine. However, my other sister wasn’t too keen on the idea of a prenup. I didn’t blame either of them for thinking one way or another. It just left me a little bit stuck in the middle!

Should I even bring it up with boyfriend, even before we start living together? Or should I wait til after we’ve lived together, and perhaps discussed the next step?

I decided to do it now because I hate having things hang over my head, leaving me wondering, what if? I asked boyfriend about the idea of signing a prenup. He said he would sign a prenup because what we have together is not about the money, and won’t be. He might not have stocks or investments like I do, but he has possessions that are his, and will remain his. I loved his answer because I’ve always known that our relationship isn’t about money, but money does play a big part of our lives. Nobody can deny that!

I got even more curious because it seems like the times really have changed. Back then, if you brought up the idea of signing a prenup, people would accuse you of having no faith in the relationship, or that you did not trust the other person that you were marrying. I decided to look further into what a prenup meant, and who it was meant for.

Most people think that a prenup is for people who are marrying that have financial inequality, or have a lot of money. This might the most logical thing to only sign a prenup if there is a lot of money/assets involved. In reality, a prenup is for anyone and everyone who want to ensure that their financial future is safe.

Definition of Prenuptial Agreement: A prenuptial or premarital agreement (also known as an antenuptial agreement or prenup) is a signed and notarized agreement made by a couple before marriage that concerns various financial issues such as the control and possession of property and other assets taken into the marriage and later obtained during the marriage either individually or jointly, as well as the couple’s future earnings, and how such property or assets will be distributed in the event of divorce or death.

Here’s a little more insight into what a prenup means:

The good:
– When you ask your significant other to sign a prenup, it does not mean that you think the marriage will not last. It ensures that both of you will have a secure financial future.

–Prior to getting married, there are couples that do not discuss their financial matters. A prenup will allow you to discuss anything that has to do with your financial matters, and you can do so, comfortably.

–Whatever personal/business assets that you accumluated prior to the marriage, it will be protected in the prenup.

–Prenup does not mean you only discuss assets, it also allows you to include debts (student loans/credit cards) that you’ve accumulated prior to the marriage. This gives you the opportunity to figure out what you might want to do with your finances.

–If you have children from a previous marriage, you might want to sign a prenup to ensure the financial security of your children.

–A prenup simply keeps things from getting ugly if you do divorce.

The bad:
–When your significant other asks you to sign a prenup, it might cause you to feel that your significant other does not trust you.

–This might bring you to think that your marriage may not last.

–It is definitely unromantic to bring up that you want your significant other to sign a prenup, prior to your getting married.

The UGLY!

–You asked, they said no.*

The really good thing is: you can change your prenup as often as you want. You’re able to discuss your financial matters and get a better idea of how your significant other wants to spend money. You might even choose to share just one account or have three (one for each of you and one joint). If you do choose to get a prenup, it’s a good idea to have your own lawyers.

After reading all about  prenuptials, I don’t have bad feelings about it. I’m glad my sister brought it up. I’m glad I brought it up while talking to my boyfriend. I’m relieved that he did not see it as that I don’t trust him, but he saw that I cared about both of our futures as much as he did. I’m able to get a better idea of what we want to happen in our relationship.

Would you, or wouldn’t you?

*It might save you a lot of money and headaches!