Online dating is a complete waste of time. If your really want to meet the “right” people, participate in community activities, make the effort to attend birthday parties and housewarmings, or maybe join a sports or community activism club. That’s how 90% of married couples met. I tried online dating once and really believe it’s a marketing gimmick intended to exploit people’s vulnerabilities.

A perfect profile in online dating might be a fat, old, ugly geezer who’s just saying what you want to hear. The success rate is extremely low for online dating.

The problem with some people is they’re so set on their ideal man or woman that they automatically reject everyone or assume that people have secret agendas. Online dating’s advanced search is not going to get rid of their inhibitions– they need psychological help or a love coach.

My god. Are you the kind of person I’d meet online dating?

“But there are other cool things about online dating. You can pretty much pick out exactly what kind of guy (or girl) you’re looking for. Like if you prefer a guy who is white…”

Do you have any tips for how we can meet a person who is racist? Maybe you could just put in your profile “I don’t HATE black guys, I just LOVE white guys.”

Oh boy. Is it racist to have an ethnic preference for whoever you’re seeking? Is it anti-Semitic to date only Christians? Is it sexist to only want to sleep with women?

It’s obvious that you don’t know what you’re talking about, Eric.

Someone commented: “The success rate is extremely low for online dating.”

Care to define success rate? The author seems to be content.

Yes, I’m J. Random Netizen. A guy who just dropped in after seeing language being abused just to “prove” a point. I guess *that’s* my pet peeve.

For today.

Why Online Dating Sucks!!
Online daters sue matchmaking Web sites for fraud
By Martha Graybow

NEW YORK, Nov 18 (Reuters) - It’s not easy finding love in cyberspace, and now some frustrated online daters say they were victims of fraud by two top Internet matchmaking services and have taken their complaints to court. Match.com, a unit of IAC/Interactive Corp. , is accused in a federal lawsuit of goading members into renewing their subscriptions through bogus romantic e-mails sent out by company employees. In some instances, the suit contends, people on the Match payroll even went on sham dates with subscribers as a marketing ploy.

“This is a grossly fraudulent practice that Match.com is engaged in,” said H. Scott Leviant, a lawyer at Los Angeles law firm Arias, Ozzello & Gignac LLP, which brought the suit. Match “promotes the policies of integrity to protect members, and yet they themselves, we allege, are misleading their entire customer base,” he said.

The company said it does not comment on pending litigation. But Match spokeswoman Kristin Kelly said the company “absolutely does not” employ people to go on dates with subscribers or to send members misleading e-mails professing romantic interest. The company has about 15 million members worldwide and 250 employees, she said.

In a separate suit, Yahoo Inc.’s personals service is accused of posting profiles of fictitious potential dating partners on its Web site to make it look as though many more singles subscribe to the service than actually do. Yahoo did respond to requests for comment. The suits, which both seek class-action status, came as growth in the online dating industry has slowed, although Web matchmaking still remains a big business.

U.S. consumers spent $245.2 million on online personals and dating services in the first half of 2005, up 7.6 percent from a year earlier, according to the Online Publishers Association. That’s a slower growth rate compared with several years ago. At the same time, competition among online dating services is fierce, with some sites offering newfangled features such as extensive compatibility surveys to match up people with similar temperaments and outlooks.

ALLEGATIONS OF ‘DATE BAIT’

The Match lawsuit was filed earlier this month in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles by plaintiff Matthew Evans, who contends he went out with a woman he met through the site who turned out to be nothing more than “date bait” working for the company.

The relationship went nowhere, according to his suit. Evans says Match set up the date for him because it wanted to keep him from pulling the plug on his subscription and was hoping he’d tell other potential members about the attractive woman he met through the service, according to Leviant. His lawyers said Evans, of Orange County, California, was not available to comment, but described him as a working professional in his 30s.

Leviant said his client found out about the alleged scam after the woman he dated confessed she was employed by Match. The lawsuit also claims the company violated the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organization Act, a law best known for being used in prosecuting organized crime.

The Yahoo suit was filed last month by Robert Anthony, of Broward County, Florida. The suit, brought in U.S. District Court in San Jose, California, accuses the company of breach of contract, fraud and unfair trade practices.

Anthony’s lawyer, Peter McNulty of the McNulty Law Firm in Bel Air, California, did not respond to requests for comment.

You missed my point about online dating. Tim must’ve had a bad experience with online dating. I commend you for trying it if you did. Sure there might be research saying that it’s a rip off, maybe so. But it’s something I’m glad I tried. I haven’t had any bad experiences…I guess i’m one of the lucky ones.

as for eric– i could prefer to date blacks or asians or hispanics or whites or jewish or christian or agnostic or women or bisexuals only. But I don’t. You read into what I said…which was just an example. Perhaps you should not read between the lines before you go ahead and call me a racist because you don’t know who I am. but don’t ever call people something they’re not especially if you don’t know who they are. It’s mean and disheartening.

Pasting an article in a comment is just… uncool. The correct way to respond is to (1) Write an actual comment (2) link to other articles (3) and make your point.

I’ll scamper off now.

I just started the online dating thing myself. To say its been slow going is an understatement…

My match.com profile is jfs1971. Anyone who has any tips on how I can improve it, I’d be much obliged.

And I kind of prefer to date women. Hope that doesn’t make me a homophobe! Really- some of my best friends are gay… *grin*

(And for those of you who want to read articles on online dating, the NY Times had a big article on the topic in last Thursday’s Style Section. Very interesting reading).

It’s really uncool writing anonymous comments and scampering off like you’ve won the argument when you’ve only made a fool of yourself. I only had to cut and paste the whole article so people could see for themselves I’m not abusing language to prove a point and basing my comments on fact.

Maybe the online dating experience is different for a woman than it is for a man, but I’m fairly confident that online dating is not the best way for men to date unless they absolutely cannot function in social settings.

Why am I wasting my time arguing with a coward anyway?

Actually I agree with Internet Citizen. Posting an article in its entirety is not good Netiquette. Better to link to it and actually type your own opinion.

Besides, it’s probably questionably legal to repost an entire article.

Great article, but please put dating to rest and write blogs about something different. Reading three consecutive blogs about dating in a row from the same blogger is my pet peeve.

For today.

I agree. Its stupid and annoying to the majority of readers when a clueless reader posts an entire article in the comments section. And don’t forget, we’re all already racists at heart. It’s simply how we choose to act upon those private thoughts and feelings that draws the difference between a bigot and a non-bigot. And Erin should write about whatever she wants, if she wants to be renundant with her topic, so be it. Others seem to enjoy it.

Online dating should not be viewed as “THE” solution but rather just another avenue for people to pursue. They should still take classes, attend dinner parties, or volunteer and meet others. Have fun with it but do not peg your hopes to one specific method.

As for the topic: each blog may have a running theme. If Erin chooses to base her theme on dating, so be it. We as readers have the privilege of reading or ignoring it.

I think it’s just that people find Erin interesting and want to know her viewpoints on other issues. Blog away at your heart’s content is my advice.

Besides the fact that I’m expressing my viewpoint that online dating is a waste of my time, as well as many of my male friends who have shared the same sentiment, and got bashed for posting a negative news article to support a previous comment, I would like to add my viewpoint with some suggestions for deaf and hard of hearing people regarding dating.

First, since most people want someone they’re attracted to, there’s an ethical issue with posting an older picture from 5-10 years ago. It really makes sense to post current pictures of yourself and provide several extra pictures upon request. One picture is fine, but you really want to provide the viewer with more angles that reveal your personalities and interests (i.e. a picture of you running a marathon).

Second, if you do not mention your deafness in your profile, don’t wait too long before telling them upfront about it. For me, I would say 85% of people I meet don’t have a problem with deafness if you’re honest about it and act confident. Just don’t rush the relationship and give them time to absorb it.

Finally, if you’re going to meet someone for the first time after chatting with them online, pick something you can spend only a few minutes and still have fun. I highly recommend meeting people for the first time over a cup of coffee. That gives you a window of 15 minutes to determine if the person is a good match and you can easily prolong the date. Dinners usually take 1-2 hours, so should be reserved for a second or third date when you’re comfortable with the person.

That’s my viewpoint and I’m sticking by it.

I have been on and off match for some time too, like a lot of woman, but been off of it for a while now. Have to claim it is not for everyone, if you already had enough of bad experience, and kissed enough frogs, who did not turn into prince, do not expect it will happen on match or any other virtual site.
Yes, a lot of man are after one thing, and woman are no better. It is true that match does not screen there members and yes,a lot of them are married. I personally know a couple man who are on the site and married, and keep claiming in there profile there are looking for a serious relationship. Mostly, I came to tell you something very different. I am sure they where no way match could of screen this dump ****. And there is no blame to match employees there just doing there job, to pay for the living.
But here it goes.
I work with a couple young sophisticated woman, who are attractive and fun. Yes, they do have some habits but do not we all. One is engaged, another looking. The one who is looking decided to try match, I did not want to scare her, and did not tell her anything except, be careful and that personally it was not for me. So, it has been about 5 weeks in her search for a “soulmate”. She would call 2 of us in her office, and will ask us to screen some man in whom she showed interest. To tell you the truth I saw some familiar faces who where there over a year ago, but going to the point. Since it is a little bit of a slow season for us at work, we did put a little bit too much effort helping her. And about 7 days ago discovered other girls fiancé picture on this lovely site, with the profile which was active 24 hours ago. Since most of us have pictures of family and friends in our offices, we pretty much froze, yes we all did recognize him. Actually I met him first time during our fancy, but god dam boring Christmas party. Mostly when I go over her house he is on business out of state or works late. The girl who was searching match never met him in person, but trust me we saw our share of his pictures. The reaction was unusual, we pretty much where staring at the picture for about 3 minutes, it probably seemed like a lifetime to my lovely coworker friend. I decided the silence needs to be broken. What I was thinking I can not recall, but I started with, honey someone could of ask him for the picture, or just borrowed it from the shared drive at work. To tell you the truth he is very physically attractive, when I talked to him during Christmas party, he seemed completely normal. No one panicked, I have to give it to the girl that she did not became hysterical, and did not draw any conclusions right away. The other girl claimed that I can be very right and it is very easy to check. Not that we decide on some good deed, but I am sure most woman will fully support our decision. Let me put it that way the other women happiness was at stake. After reading his lovely profile, which claimed he was looking for something very serious and compassionate, and looking at 7 more pictures(in one picture he was with his fiancé, but she was cut out).
Finally 2,5 days ago we decided to post a fake profile, since I am from a different country and have an accent we also decided to find pictures of some exotic girls where I am from originally and post them. I was a little skeptical at first, what if someone just doing the same thing we are doing. But it was too late to back out, and to tell you the truth I was extremely curious. I actually went to a couple cheap Russian escort sites, and definitely found pictures of some very questionable woman. And finally we all decided and picked really stand out redhead with huge lips, blue eyes and definitely gorgeous body. Not only one redhead, another ala natural blonde with huge tits, green eyes, and another one with really sophisticated look, looked more like a teacher than a whore. The deed was done all the girls where posted, I know no respect for others, why they have to pay, why not just to confront him. But it was done, the profiles where new, fresh, waiting to be approved. While we peacefully where waiting for the approval, all 3 of us signed up for a 3 day trial with one month extension, the girl offer to pay for us if we need to continue longer than 3 days, but we both where so intrigued to find the end of this drama.
So, and what do you think? We did not have to wait for long, the redhead who is represented by me and the Blondie who was represented by other coworker got a wink on the first day, from our lovely coworker friend fiancé. I will not tell how many other responses those whores got, from man not only where we live, but from all over the country. The ratio for them would climb by the second, and trust me their profiles claim only serious man with serious intentions need to apply. Yes, we did made fun of some people, but to some we politely said that we not interested.
But another thing no one except, when we will write no thanks, we would get a lot of emails back, below just two examples. (can man tell a difference between whores and some real woman?) And also man who are 20 to 30 years older will email us, but we made our fake girls 30 and 29 years old

Example1: I’m not sure where you interpreted that we are looking for different things, as I seemed to match you list pretty well and passed the “have your mind set on friendship with benefits, casual dating or getting over emotional, financial rollercoaster, in a relationship, have a wife, live with an ex” test.

I suppose I just may not be your physical type and I respect that, but if that’s not it, I would ask you to reconsider. Maybe I can explain something that’s not clear to you.

Example2: I appreciate your response. Are you trying to say that you don’t think I am ready for a Long Term? If so, you would be wrong. I have been online now for about 11 months, and although I have had the opportunity to date, I have not found someone “fits” who I am looking for — for the long term.

Am I dating? Yes. Am I dating with an eye to the future? Most definitely. The only way I can determine if someone is right for me, is by emailing them or visiting them live. I hope this isn’t too bold, but wouldn’t it be curious if I was the right person for you…..and we “missed” each other?

Despite my generally upbeat nature, I don’t lie AND I don’t play games. Life is too short for either of these.

Okay,I am Russian, maybe I do not understand something:), but I have lived in the country for 13 years, graduated high school and college here, but other 2 girls born here, lived here their entire life. And do man can tell the difference between professional photos of real whores and normal human beings

Enough of that going back to our fiancé situation. The redhead and the Blondie both winked back at him, and here our Casanova got back with such intriguing emails. To make my point today he send his phone number, apparently my coworker friend and he has a family plan from Verizon. He asked me for a drink after work tonight, the Blondie date is tomorrow, he really did not went for the sophisticated looking whore. The reaction of my very friendly coworker friend, who actually never swears was not that good this time, actually she called and told her parents. I can not describe their reaction, thanks god it was over the phone.
But the decision was made to sent him my phone number, I was a little afraid he might recognize my not mistakable Russian accent. But he did left me a message where we meeting tonight, and yes it was him. I am sure his ex fiancé, he has no idea about it yet. But we all going to meet him, that is not going to be pretty.
There where times when I was skeptical that I did not give enough chance to some man on match, and yes I did met one person I was interested in but he was not in to me. But in reality I do not think it is all worse it.
Did we start forgetting how it is to meet people thru friends, how is it not to lie, at least if you meet thru a friend or a family there is 95% chance the person is not married, engaged or in a serious relationship. I am not calling myself angel here, or that 3 of us did something good. But there is no women in this world who deserve this.
I will not tell anyone what to do, make your own decisions
But neither of us will ever join, look or browse any of these sites again.
Good Luck

damn. some of you are so long winded!! cant you make your point faster?? i think no matter how you put your self out there for others, being willing to aproach someone you don’t or barely know is great. Quick ?. is it online dateing if you meet a great guy in a place like this for fun??? i dunno, cuz i never did the date room stuff:}

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