Comments on: Hearing or Not, You Don’t Get To Pick Your Poison http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/ Sat, 22 Nov 2008 10:59:27 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Proud to Be... http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/#comment-54140 Proud to Be... Wed, 20 Dec 2006 16:02:54 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/#comment-54140 I too am a girl with Mother/Father Deaf that appreciated your "journey". You're right, Abababa's show encompasses MANY emotions, thoughts, stories and leaves a lasting impression! It's nice to sit back, watch, listen and realize that you're at HOME! Glad I dragged you there! :) I too am a girl with Mother/Father Deaf that appreciated your “journey”.

You’re right, Abababa’s show encompasses MANY emotions, thoughts, stories and leaves a lasting impression! It’s nice to sit back, watch, listen and realize that you’re at HOME!

Glad I dragged you there! :)

]]> By: Gina G http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/#comment-52983 Gina G Mon, 18 Dec 2006 14:30:28 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/#comment-52983 Perhaps we don't get to pick our poison as children, but we do as adults. The poison in the end, is ours to decide what to do with. I too used to wonder what my life would be like or could have been if it were different; If my mother had been hearing or Deaf with an education. How I live my life as an adult and how I interact with others is all within my control. Good or bad it has nothing to do with the poison that was poured into me as a child and all to do with what I choose to do with it. For me, the breaking point of finding my own place, identity if you will, as a CODA was realizing that I had been a swan trying to be a duck all my life. (Ugly Duckling interpretation). I cherish every memory and experience as a CODA. It has helped shaped my life today. I am tremendously proud of where I am today. Life is like a two-sided coin. One side positive, the other negative; this polarity coexists in every aspect and occurance in our lives. Pick the side (poison) you wish to live... I have not seen the Abababa show yet, I look forward to attending the show in January. Thanks for the blog, Dave. Perhaps we don’t get to pick our poison as children, but we do as adults. The poison in the end, is ours to decide what to do with. I too used to wonder what my life would be like or could have been if it were different; If my mother had been hearing or Deaf with an education. How I live my life as an adult and how I interact with others is all within my control. Good or bad it has nothing to do with the poison that was poured into me as a child and all to do with what I choose to do with it.
For me, the breaking point of finding my own place, identity if you will, as a CODA was realizing that I had been a swan trying to be a duck all my life. (Ugly Duckling interpretation). I cherish every memory and experience as a CODA. It has helped shaped my life today. I am tremendously proud of where I am today. Life is like a two-sided coin. One side positive, the other negative; this polarity coexists in every aspect and occurance in our lives. Pick the side (poison) you wish to live…
I have not seen the Abababa show yet, I look forward to attending the show in January.
Thanks for the blog, Dave.

]]> By: Alan Abarbanell http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/#comment-52677 Alan Abarbanell Sun, 17 Dec 2006 13:46:40 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/#comment-52677 Dave's comments echo those of many codas (Children of Deaf Adults...www.coda-international.org) around the country, and even internationally. Thank you Dave for your insightful and moving account of your life as a coda. Generally speaking, most codas are proud of our Deaf heritage, and while we are not [Deaf] we carry many of the same values and internalize much of the attitudinal discrimination our parents experience. Indeed, our experience is bi-cultural (if you can call 'hearing' a culture). The Abababa Road Tour offers a glimpse of one codas childhood experiences and how they effect that coda's adult life. It is funny and poignant, and I invite you all to join us on January 14 at Imagination Stage in Bethesda for a very special benefit performance. For more information please email abababa@viable.net or go to www.abababatour.com Thanks!! Alan "Abababa" Abarbanell Dave’s comments echo those of many codas (Children of Deaf Adults…www.coda-international.org) around the country, and even internationally. Thank you Dave for your insightful and moving account of your life as a coda.

Generally speaking, most codas are proud of our Deaf heritage, and while we are not [Deaf] we carry many of the same values and internalize much of the attitudinal discrimination our parents experience. Indeed, our experience is bi-cultural (if you can call ‘hearing’ a culture).

The Abababa Road Tour offers a glimpse of one codas childhood experiences and how they effect that coda’s adult life. It is funny and poignant, and I invite you all to join us on January 14 at Imagination Stage in Bethesda for a very special benefit performance. For more information please email abababa@viable.net or go to http://www.abababatour.com

Thanks!!
Alan “Abababa” Abarbanell

]]> By: RLM http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/#comment-52533 RLM Sun, 17 Dec 2006 01:16:50 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/#comment-52533 Your posting left me in tears about your personal struggles with the identity of who and what you were. Many thanks for sharing your personal story with all of us, DeafDc e-readers. Welcome back! Robert L. Mason (RLM) Your posting left me in tears about your personal struggles with the identity of who and what you were.

Many thanks for sharing your personal story with all of us, DeafDc e-readers. Welcome back!

Robert L. Mason (RLM)

]]> By: Dianrez http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/#comment-52340 Dianrez Sat, 16 Dec 2006 09:17:08 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/#comment-52340 Your blog/ramble touched on my soul. As a Deaf I recognized it immediately as coming from a member of the "family" encompassing all of the Deaf community and their CODA relatives. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas with your family and that it is a rich, fulfilling holiday. Thanks, DPG Your blog/ramble touched on my soul. As a Deaf I recognized it immediately as coming from a member of the “family” encompassing all of the Deaf community and their CODA relatives. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas with your family and that it is a rich, fulfilling holiday. Thanks,
DPG

]]> By: WAD http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/#comment-52197 WAD Sat, 16 Dec 2006 02:48:44 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/#comment-52197 Indeed, the Abababa performance’s a POWERFUL one. I laughed, cried, and had goose bumps. I personally believe the show plays a different note to everyone (one by one) in the audience that has a connection with the word "deaf". It’s the most emotional show I have been to and I could not come up with a movie as emotional as the show. I am glad you saw his gem performance! Indeed, the Abababa performance’s a POWERFUL one. I laughed, cried, and had goose bumps. I personally believe the show plays a different note to everyone (one by one) in the audience that has a connection with the word “deaf”. It’s the most emotional show I have been to and I could not come up with a movie as emotional as the show. I am glad you saw his gem performance!

]]> By: Virginia L. Beach http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/#comment-52174 Virginia L. Beach Sat, 16 Dec 2006 00:37:58 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/david-stuckless/2006-12-15/hearing-or-not-you-dont-get-to-pick-your-poison/#comment-52174 WOW. Truthfully, David...I'm not sure how to respond to this blog, but it certainly is thought provoking. Thank you for sharing. I guess in some ways I can kind of "get it." I'm a Deaf person who grew up in an all-hearing family, attended all-hearing schools until I went to Gallaudet, have above average speech and lipreading skills as well as being fluent in sign language, have some residual hearing which is enhanced by the use of digital hearing aids, and have many non-signing hearing friends as well as native ASL-user Deaf friends. There's been many a time I have wondered where I fit in also, and have experienced that sense of "coming home" when I can find other Deaf individuals who have undergone similar experiences. I can imagine it would be hard to leave. WOW. Truthfully, David…I’m not sure how to respond to this blog, but it certainly is thought provoking. Thank you for sharing.

I guess in some ways I can kind of “get it.” I’m a Deaf person who grew up in an all-hearing family, attended all-hearing schools until I went to Gallaudet, have above average speech and lipreading skills as well as being fluent in sign language, have some residual hearing which is enhanced by the use of digital hearing aids, and have many non-signing hearing friends as well as native ASL-user Deaf friends. There’s been many a time I have wondered where I fit in also, and have experienced that sense of “coming home” when I can find other Deaf individuals who have undergone similar experiences.

I can imagine it would be hard to leave.

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