Comments on: You Can’t Hide

By: AHK

AHK — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 11:45:54 +0000

Actually AG Bell’s presidency is rotated between DHHS (Deaf HoH Section) member, parent of D/HoH, and professional so that no one particular group feels left out. In other words, every third AG Bell president has been a deaf one.

By: aukat

aukat — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 05:54:09 +0000

Exactly, Chris. It’s like this—most of the time when I tell a hearing person I’m deaf, I’ll get a frustrated/irritated look and their first reaction will be to ask me whether I can read lips. My response depends entirely on that person and how s/he speaks, how fast, whether s/he has a mustache, etc. If s/he has a heavy mustache, then I’m telling him/her I can’t lipread, because I don’t want to run the risk of misunderstanding them and causing confusion and their response is almost always a negative, and rude one. I always have to resist the temptation to retaliate with a biting remark by way of a gesture.
I like most hearing people, they’re a great bunch of folks, I got no problem with them, even the ignorant ones don’t bother me, but their impatience…it’s as if they don’t understand the concept of a halfway point. If I have to learn how to lipread in order to get around in their world, then why don’t they learn how to read signs? Or lipread, so we can mouth out our conversation. Hell, I’m even willing to carry around a notepad and a pen so that we can write back and forth, but surprisingly, this pisses people off as well. I never really knew how many people out there have an aversion to reading and writing until I started asking them to. It even pisses people off if I ask them to speak slower because they’re speaking so fast that it looks like they’re just mumbling gibberish. I’m not requiring them to learn a whole another language, just to speak a little slower, but they act as if it’s entirely my fault that I can’t read their lips or hear them. As if I intentionally took a flathead screwdriver to my eardrums and popped ‘em like hot zits.
I’m not saying all hearing people are like this, I know many wonderful hearing folks, my family included, but the expectations a lot of them put upon us…kinda ridiculous. It’s like the deaf militants reversed, “my way or nothing!”

By: kate b

kate b — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 00:54:45 +0000

thanks for the posts. I know a number of deafies who didn’t have speech therapy like I did, are better lip readers. I like to think that they make more use of time interacting with nonsigning people as opposed to sounding out words in cued speech lessons.

By: Jean Boutcher

Jean Boutcher — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 02:10:18 +0000

kate b (#94511) asks:

I can’t help but wonder if April feels that the inadequacy to read lips reflect on limitations of oralism method.

I know a former dean who equated the lack of lipreading skills with low-functioning. I asked her exactly what she meant by that. She said, “Both low intelligence and low literacy.” I gently recommended her to read Psychologist Dr. Howard Gardner’s books on natural intelligence, developmental intelligence, multiple intelligences. She looked upset thereafter.

By: Chris Heuer

Chris Heuer — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 20:52:54 +0000

Hi Sacha:

The only solution that immediately comes to mind is to not hide. But I grant you that’s not very helpful advice for those who are sick of debating and explaining…

By: Chris Heuer

Chris Heuer — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 20:46:16 +0000

Hi Kate:

If that’s true, I have to wonder why she’d direct her feelings about that inadequacy toward a deaf person who didn’t lip read and not toward the program (or even just the general educational philosophy of oralism) itself…

By: kate b

kate b — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 20:30:58 +0000

I can’t help but wonder if April feels that the inadequacy to read lips reflect on limitations of oralism method.

By: Dianrez

Dianrez — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 18:20:00 +0000

There will always be people who have hearing standards so firmly entrenched in their personal philosophy (read: audism) impinging upon our lives so that it forces us to adapt to them.

If it becomes a question of spending a great deal of energy trying to teach sensitivity and awareness, or moving on to friendlier circumstances, I’d opt for the latter. This is said with a great deal of sad hindsight. Life is all too short.

There are exceptional people who have the determination to change things and are willing to suffer and to cause pain to others. If you are one of these, then it is your responsibility to use your abilities to change. Otherwise, most of us cause change by moving on and depriving these people of our resources.

By: Silent Observer

Silent Observer — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 15:43:48 +0000

Interesting blog, Chris. I’d say a hearing person with limited knowledge of ASL would have faced the same prejudices with “April” at a deaf school as the burden would be on this hearing person to learn ASL as quickly as possible. If this hearing person doesn’t succeed, he/she would leave…or stay and become a mean witch who give detentions all the time.

This is just how society operates, we’re supposed (or expected?) to conform to the majority within the particular environment, otherwise we’re a burden to them. Women and minorities have the same gripe in the workplace, the burden is on them to prove their worth. When in Rome…

It’s society that we need to change. I’d like to think that we’ve come a long way, but we’ve also got a long way to go.

By: Chris Heuer

Chris Heuer — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 15:38:53 +0000

Hello Christian:

I don’t lipread well, no.

But what Bobby just said, yes, that’s my point.