On a recent cloudy morning, I was minutely contributing to the efforts of the conservation of the environment by taking public transit. No gas-guzzlers for me when I commute to work, especially with the way fuel prices have been steadily creeping up in the past weeks. Besides, I’m the type of driver you would NOT want to see in your rear view mirror during rush hour.

While I was waiting for the bus, I felt a gentle tap-tap on my left arm. I spun around and my eyes fell on this petite woman with a grandmotherly vibe. Her salt-and-pepper hair was neatly wrapped up in a bun, with a few coils of hair swinging freely about the frame of her face. With one hand, she hugged the moss green shawl that was draped around her shoulders closer to her body. With the other wrinkled and vein-ridden hand, she ventured out a tightly clenched pamphlet towards me. “Would you like to learn more about how you can be saved?” the woman inquired in a syrupy sweet voice.

With my arms crossed, I looked down at the folded paper and looked back up. The woman held me in a steady gaze while her question lingered in the air between us. I unflinchingly eyed her back, while fast and furious thoughts were running through my noggin at the speed of light. I felt like shouting to her:

“Lady, are you kidding me? Why don’t you take your prunely butt on over to those who need a helluva lot more saving than I do? People like Ted Haggard, Eliot Spitzer, and those priests and bishops in the Catholic Church. Let’s not forget about Warren Jeffs, the ringleader of the untraditional Mormon sect who recently had over 400 children seized from their compound? Certain people who are in high and mighty positions whose moral fiber beings are questionable, at best.

“Why are you here passing out pamphlets to the people here at the transit station? These people are a slice of everyday America…the majority of whom are living paycheck to paycheck. These people from all walks of life who managed to converge at the station this gray and cloudy morning are trying to lead a decent life, while a select few in position of power continue to bankrupt the wellbeing of the country. These politicians who have one hand on the bible promising to uphold the high standards of the offices they are elected/appointed to, but the other hand is wrapped around a beer (a lá Bush). Even better, they are caught with their pants down around the ankles (thanks, Clinton).”

Then my mind geared up for the last of my runaway train-esqué thoughts: “What you need to do, Grandma, is take your brand of sugary-spun sales pitch and go somewhere else to sweeten up those countless poor souls who could definitely use a reminder or two of the consequences of living in sin. Or, even better, why don’t you stick those pamphlets where the sun don’t shine?”

Only a few seconds transpired, but it felt like an eternity. Just then, the rays of the sun bursted through the clouds. Talk about timing… a moment of clarity. Or perhaps a sign from the Man/Woman upstairs? In any case, I realized what was really bothering me was to see people who have the Holy Ghost ingrained in them trying to preach to the regular Joes and Janes the virtues of living by God’s will. And yet we continue to put our faith in public servants and religious figures who continually abuse our trust. I don’t see someone handing these “sinners” pamphlets.

Now I am not claiming to be a saint, because I am so far away from that. With my faults and flaws, I am definitely not Mother Theresa. I am only human, like the prominent people I mentioned. The difference between them and me is that I’m not playing a crazed game of wack-a-mole with people’s beliefs, convictions, and purported perception of me.

But I do know the small-framed woman locking eyes with me is not the one to blame. She is simply preaching to the choir. I just think her message is being sung to the wrong choir. Affecting a disinterested nod, I politely refused her offer. “Thanks, but no thanks,” I said and I then glanced away.

A friend sent me a hot-off-the-presses article about deaf people who aren’t allowed to fly solo. That’s the apparent policy of the Australian subsidiary of Singapore-based budget air carrier Tiger Airways.

Deaf passengers who want to fly on the airline must be accompanied by a fare-paying adult care provider, according to Jinky, a Tiger Airways reservations agent. This claim was contradicted by Matt Hobbs, who denied that such a policy existed, and could not fathom why the crews and call center staff were informing passengers of this purported requirement.

Bill Shorten, Australia’s parliamentary secretary for disabilities and children’s services, made a great analogy of the ridiculousness of the situation. Shorten pointed out that Ludwig van Beethoven, a famous music composer who lost his hearing, would be a shining example of a deaf passenger wrongly denied the right to fly alone–if he was still living. Ditto for other famous deaf people such as Marlee Matlin, I. King Jordan, Helen Keller, Laurent Clerc, and Andrew Foster, to name a few.

“Under this, Beethoven would never have been able to catch a plane” on his own, Shorten told a television station. “Just because people are deaf doesn’t mean that they’re stupid.”

Shorten is right, not all deaf people are stupid. Just like not all stupid people are deaf. Check the hearing level of that clueless coworker or friend sitting across from you, if you don’t believe me. There are other factors involved in being stupid. Deafness isn’t one of them.

Regardless, in respect to flying, you don’t need the ability to hear to board a plane. You don’t need to hear to be able to find your seat. That involves a little something called “being able to read.” You don’t need to hear to look out the window and see the plane taking a nosedive. All of the above actions don’t involve the ears, period.

So why would a deaf passenger need a hearing companion in order to fly? Perhaps to inform him/her that the seat-mate in front snores like a Saint Bernard dog? And just who is supposed to foot the bill for this so-called care provider? If it’s the deaf person, that’s a double hit to the wallet. Two for the price of one is usually a good bargain, but in this case, it’s kind of the reverse.

Of course, there are obvious lessons to be learned from this controversy. But to me, the most important lesson is this: do not fly with an airline that employs people going by just one name– like Jinky, the knowledgeable reservations agent. My friend quipped, “What is she, a hooker or something?”

Leapin’ Lizards! Today is Leap Day, when an extra day is added in February every four years. Not good news for your wallet, because it means you’re paying an one more day’s worth of interest rates. Not good news for girls or guys fending off unwanted advances, because unlike the previous three years, “I’ll call you on February 29″ will not work this time around.

I’ve been wondering something about people who have February 29th birthdays. Are these leap year babies one-fourth of their age because their birthdays only comes once every four years? Think about it… 64 year olds can claim to be young because for all intents and purposes, they’re only 16.

During the non-leap years, how are birthdays celebrated? On February 28 or March 1? What if someone close to you died today? How would you commemorate that person’s death for the next three years?

I’m really curious about these things and am taking a leap of faith that you readers would provide me with some enlightment. Pun intended.

There’s a strong stench coming from Thailand. It stemmed from the fast-growing controversy concerning how the sign language interpreters in that country identify prominent politicians. Samak Sundaravej, the first elected prime minister since a September coup two years ago, has been crowned “Mr. Rose Apple Nose” because of a strong resemblance to the fruit. Accordingly, the sign language interpreters are holding their noses. Literally.

That particular sign generally indicate that something/someone stinks. And that perception is angering the members and supporters of Samak’s party, who feel such a sign is not quite becoming of a national leader. They even went as far as to petition the National Association of the Deaf in Thailand to remove the offending sign. An interpreter, Kanittha Rattanasin, noted that the gesture of holding the nose between two fingers in reference to Samak has been used for a long time now but now gaining national attention because of a live telecast of Monday’s parliamentary session. “…people noticed this time because we had to repeat the movement over 300 times,” she explained.

It’s common practice for Thai sign language interpreters to indicate facial features as symbols for people of high rank, and they are not the only ones. In America, the sign for William J. Clinton was the letter C handshape while signing LIE/LIAR. A Democrat wasn’t the only one with that particular honor. Substitute the C handshape for the N handshape and you’re talking about Richard Nixon, the Republican president in the 1970s.

People used the GUN TO HEAD sign in an letter R handshape whenever the subject of Ronald Reagan came up. Abraham Lincoln was referred to by the HAT/CAP sign twice, using the A handshape and the L handshape. James Carter was a peanut farmer before he attained the highest political office, so hence the C handshape flicking off of the top of the teeth. The first president, George Washington (no relation to me…far as I know), had the honor of the GENERAL sign two times in quick succession, with the G handshape and the W handshape.

Regardless, there will always be signs of questionable funk and people crying afoul over them. Now that we are in the midst of an election cycle, what signs–whether posititve or negative–have been attributed so far to the current crop of presidential candidates?

But one thing is for sure…nobody knows a stink like the nose.

Old Man 2007 has walked off the plank, and we have Baby Boy 2008 steering the ship. All hands on deck! In other words, 2007 has come and gone, and this is the first day of 2008, at least in my corner of the hemisphere.

And the first day of the new year brings the inevitable resolutions. I’m no different. I had a list of resolutions, but judging from my track record, the chances of me keeping them in the first three months are very small…try 29.5683%. Like most people at the end of the year, I would beat myself up and curse up a storm for not sticking to my resolve on every item on my list.

With that history in mind, someone suggested to me that perhaps the best resolution I can make for myself is none. Zippo. Nada. “Shouldn’t you strive to improve and better yourself in Vikki years, and not calendar years?” When I considered my feats, accomplishments, and growth using that novel measurement, I had to say, “You’ve come a long way, baby.”

After all, like fine wine and cheese, it takes TIME to improve on oneself. One calendar year won’t always do the job. I will use my resolutions this year to jump-start some things I’ve wanted to do, but when Old Man 2008 rolls around in the wheelchair, I won’t jump off the plank if I didn’t accomplish EVERYTHING on my list.

So with that said, Happy New Year! Onwards and upwards (yes, K.N.B., I’m stealing your line) to living life the best way you can!

Have you sometimes wished that someone could walk in your shoes for just one day so they could gain a better perspective of what you experience on a daily basis? Most people who are oppressed because of race, religion, gender, or disability have made this wish at least a dozen times in the last year. This cartoon puts in words the general consensus of what Black (or African American, if you want to be politically correct) people have been saying for decades:

Even so I found myself nodding in fervent agreement while reading this cartoon, I have a couple problems with it. For one thing, step 3 suggested to “…set them free, but subject them to horrific discrimination and oppression for another century or so.” Only a century’s worth of systemic discrimination? Try four centuries. Enslavement of black people did go on for over 400 years. 400 years of not being allowed to read. 400 years of having families broken up due to slave auctions. 400 years of feeling inferior. 400 years of black female slaves being raped and birthing children sired by their white masters, resulting in muddled bloodlines and mysterious paternity.

The other problem is the I.Q. tests themselves, as shown in step 4. What is the TRUE measure of intelligence? If you were to say tests and more tests, I would have to disagree with you. What about people who have great street smarts, but can’t put together a disseration to save their lives? One form of testing, S.A.T.s, is difficult for some people from different cultural backgrounds to take because the questions may be subjected to a certain cultural bias. Plus, some of these students of certain areas may attend schools where they have no assurances of having books and dependable, encouraging teachers. Does this mean that they are not hardworking, ambitious, capable, and–dare I say it–intelligent? No. It simply means that more likely than not, they won’t do too well on the SATs. The cartoon needs to add a “step 3a” to reflect this sobering reality.

Role reversal is a powerful way to gain insight and perhaps transformation. The oppressor gets to experience the oppressed people’s perspective. However, the grass is not always greener on the other side. Oppressed people who walk in the oppressor’s shoes may witness just how certain behaviors would be viewed from the other side, and that’s not always good news. The process can be a painful and enlightening revelation.

The two problems I had with this cartoon are just tips of an iceberg. So will the scientific method work on deconstructing and analyzing oppression? In my opinion, no, not as long as there’s cultural bias on the person performing the experiment. In the meantime, you may want to borrow my tattered and well-worn shoes for the day, which may help change your viewpoints on different matters.

Someone is coming to town. Don’t cry, shout or pout– he doesn’t like those mannerisms very much. Who do you think I am speaking of? That’s right! It’s the very jolly, extremely chubby dude who’s stylin’ in a red crushed velvet suit. His beard is as white as the driven snow, and his spectacles sit on a very red nose– but not as red as Rudolph, his most prized reindeer. He answers to many names such as Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, and St. Nicholas. But the most common alias that we are familiar with is Santa Claus.

At this time of year, you’ll see Santa at the mall with hopeful children lining up for a chance to sit on his lap. Santa’s lap is like a courtroom for kids, where they can argue their cases about what such GOOD children they have been and why they deserve ALL of the presents on their lists. You can also catch him outside your local store soliciting for donations to a charity. He is quick to serenade you with a friendly and hearty “Ho, ho, ho!” while rubbing his very ample belly.

In a world where we seemingly make exceptions for–and take exceptions to–different things, Santa Claus is no exception. People nowadays are either questioning or attacking his character and intentions. Poor guy–he just can’t get a break. Consider the following:

• “Ho” is a derogatory label for a loose and immoral woman. Judging by the number of “ho’s” Santa uses, he’s apparently cheating on Mrs. Claus with at least three different women.
• Santa could very well be a closet pedophile that secretly gets his jollies from having innocent kids sit on his lap. This could explain why so many kids are afraid of Santa and refuse to “visit” with him.
• Take away the cookies. Santa’s rotund appearance is no longer considered healthy in this weight-obsessed society. There’s a rampant rumor going around that several national gym chains are competing to obtain Santa as a client.
• The huffing and puffing coming from Santa isn’t because of shortness of breath due to all that weight. He’s been dragging on those cancer-inducing paraphernalia, otherwise known as pipes. That explains the yellow-stain beard hairs around the mouth area.
• Santa is the master of B&E: Breaking and Entering. I mean, who else can come in and out of a place in less than five minutes with no complaints from the occupants of the house? A burglar’s ultimate dream.
• PETA should stop going after people wearing furs, and go after Santa. After all, he makes those poor reindeers carry easily 20-30 times their weight in presents…PLUS his weight. Talk about backbreaking work.
• Want a prime example of slave labor? Look no further than those elves at the North Pole. Children in third world countries sewing together expensive designer clothes in sweatshops make way more money than these poor vertically challenged guys.

Clauses are usually provisions– ways to get out of following the terms of an otherwise ironclad contract, if you will. It’s unfortunate these days people are trying find ways to break away from a cherished tradition that’s been around for decades. If Santa was a regular Joe, then most of the behaviors outlined above should be investigated. But because this is Santa we are talking about, does he deserve to get a pass?

Just think– we have suggested extinguishing his smokes, putting out low-cal and low-fat cookies, and sending him to a refresher course on how to speak to women properly. If I only came once a year–bringing joy and delight to children’s eyes– I would be extremely annoyed if whatever few pleasures I could partake in were snatched away from me. So if you ask me, I think we should leave Santa the hell alone and let the kiddies enjoy the magic. The famous letter that was published in The New York Sun summed it up quite nicely:

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Watch out, Tooth Fairy…you may be next on the hit list. Not only are you using a moniker that may imply your sexual preferences, but you also may be single-handedly responsible for the proliferation of the black market– where kids’ teeth go for ridiculous amounts of money far exceeding the value of the enamel.

In my opinion, nothing beats reading a good book. I am a confessed bookworm, although these days with my schedule, I tend to lean more towards magazines. But when an opportunity to snuggle up on the couch with a good book comes knocking, I’m the first one to fling that door wide open.

And I know I’m not alone. Both mega-chain and mom-and-pop bookstores generally report brisk sales, even in the face of the growing power and lure of the Internet. Here on DeafDC.com, there’s been a couple of recent book reviews, like this and this. Another fellow DeafDC.com blogger spilled the beans on how those College Bowl folks seemed to know the damnest things:

It’s only appropriate to note that my favorite book is Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader. The secret tool of any College Bowl alumnus, the series consists of thick books with super-durable paperback covers, each one chock-full of hundreds of little educational stories, factoids, and news of the weird.

Most of us love to pore over the words on the pages of a book, and debate and offer our own interpretations until the cows come home. But I have a question to ask the die-hard bookheads: Would you be willing to pony up an online subscription fee for books a lá Netflix? In other words, pay a set amount of money every month to receive an X number of books, just like the DVDs.

So far, there are three companies that I found offer the service: BooksFree.com, Bookswim, and Paperspine. BooksFree.com (an oxymoron, if you ask me) has been around for nearly a decade, while Bookswim started cranking out the service earlier this year. Paperspine is literally the new kid on the block– it was launched last week. The brainchild of Microsoft Corporation program manager, Dustin Hubbard, Paperspine is geared towards people who read one or two books a month. Noting that “books are expensive,” he explained that a person could spend upwards to $50 on several paperbacks at a bookstore. Hubbard is quick to point out:

If you read four or five books a year, the service is not that useful. But if you read one or two or more books a month the service really pays for itself.

May I introduce a novel (and less expensive) option? It’s called a LIBRARY. You can borrow a certain amount of books at one time, take them home with nearly no waiting time, and the overdue fees are sure to be a lot less than some of the monthly subscription plans offered. If you physically cannot make it to the library, most of them offer some sort of a mobile service that can usually come to your area with the requested books. But the best thing about libraries? It’s FREE to borrow. Now that’s good news for your wallet.

Am I the only one who think people using these online services ought to have a book thrown at them?

One of the methods the military uses to encourage people to sign up for service is offering enlistment bonuses, in addition to free/reduced education costs and healthcare. But who knew that it would actually cost an arm and a leg to return the enlistment bonuses back to the military? Soldiers who suffered serious injuries– such as the loss of arms and legs– while engaging in active combat in less than the time specified are being told to pay some of the money back.

One soldier from Pittsburgh, Jordan Fox, spoke on this issue:

I tried to do my best and serve my country. I was unfortunately hurt in the process. Now they’re telling me they want their money back.

A bomb along a road blew up the vehicle that Fox was in, knocking him unconscious and resulting in an injured back and loss of vision in his right eye. Recently, he received a surprise letter from the military ordering that he return about $3,000 of the $10,000 bonus. Fox’s in good company because the military apparently tried to strong-arm thousands of other injured soldiers in giving back the bonus. Fox was lucky because just before he made an appearance on a national television show to discuss the issue, “the Pentagon reversed course…and vowed not to send its debt collectors after the wounded soldier.”

In this case, the Pentagon was smart to realize that bad publicity isn’t better than no publicity at all. Talk about literally adding insult to injury! Personally, I feel if a solider puts his/her life on the line to fight the good fight and becomes damaged goods as a result, that should automatically be considered fulfillment of his/her duty. “[The soldiers] SACRIFICED for us and we slap them on the face for getting hurt,” a friend of mine pointed out. Another friend whose husband served in the Army retorted, “They offer you to do something life-threatening with a sort of a bribe, and then when I lose a limb or something, you expect me to just fork over the money? Sorry, honey, it doesn’t work like that!”

Senator Hillary Clinton wrote a letter to Pete Geren, the Secretary of the Army, strongly encouraging him to rethink this dubious policy. In part, she noted:

Soldiers who have enlisted in the Army have made a commitment to serve our nation. With our nation at war in Iraq and Afghanistan, we should honor those who make that commitment. By agreeing to serve and then suffering wounds during their service, these soldiers have earned their bonuses. To ask soldiers who are being medically discharged to return their bonuses dishonors their service and undermines the Army’s stated commitment to soldiers and their families.

But interesting enough, thanks to the internet, there’s always a different perspective. I garnered this from a forum:

What kind of military would we have if the enlistees could walk out of their contractual obligations whenver they want? Do you really think that would work?

If they don’t want to risk dying, I understand that 100%. If the don’t like the regimen, fine. I don’t begrudge them one iota. If that is the case, don’t join. No problem.

Find another way to get a free education. Find another way to get your room and board and medical and dental for free. Find another way to get easy home loans with 0% down. Find somewhere else to get inexpensive goods than the PX and exhange. I don’t care.

But if you join, take the bennies, then whine “I didn’t sign up for this” when the going gets tough, I have no pity for you. When you signed that paper and took the oath it was for the good and the bad. Grow up and deal with it, soldier.

So, soldier, grow up and deal with a healthcare system that is turning out to be woefully insufficient. Grow up and deal with the issue of homelessness that affect a significant portion of veterans. Grow up and deal with worrying about just how secure your personal information really is. How can we expect them to deal with the lingering effects of war injuries when we are not doing a good job of providing whatever resources and assistance they may need.

It’s ironic that we seem to be more willing to forgive sport figures who received insanely huge salaries from contracts, and don’t really have anything to show for it. Take Grant Hill, for example. He’s a professional basketball player that never quite reached his potential due to being sidelined for most of his career due to injuries. When Hill signed his seven-year, $93 million contract with the Orlando Magic, no one could predict that he would miss about 73% of the games throughout the years. I don’t see the Orlando Magic asking him for some of the money back.

You can never place a dollar figure on the value of life. But if a basketball player can earn millions while being hurt, our injured soldiers should at least be able to keep the bonus for putting their lives on the line. A nice way for Uncle Sam to say thanks, don’t you think?

This cautionary tale is for anyone who reserves hotel rooms for business or pleasure purposes. Since this is a website catering to mainly deaf professionals, many of whom are frequently business travelers, this exposé will make even the most savvy traveler feel queasy in the stomach.

There’s nothing like the feeling of hitting the pillow in your hotel room to catch some winks after a long day. People have been warned about hotels not changing or cleaning the bed linens as often as they should. But there are other things to be concerned about in the room besides busting out the blacklight on the sheets.

From Atlanta, Fox 5 highlighted the questionable practices housekeepers at various chains use to clean those little glasses that sit on the counter in your hotel bathroom. The first of two captioned videos showed housekeepers either rinsing out the glasses with just lukewarm water and placing them back, or spraying the glasses with a blue cleaning solution contained in a bottle clearly marked “Do Not Drink.”

The grossiest offender of these incidents has got to be the one where the housekeeper donned latex cleaning gloves and cleaned out the toliet. After that task was finished, she proceeded to clean out the glasses–wearing the same gloves! To add insult to injury, she then dried out the glasses using a dirty guest towel that was hanging on the rack, which she sniffed to make sure it wasn’t TOO dirty. A top Fulton County, Georgia health inspector commented that these blatant health code violations were systemic, “…almost like a houskeeping school out there, they’re teaching them all the wrong ways to do it.” The reporter that appeared in both videos, Dana Fowle wrote on her blog:

A spokeswoman for Embassy Suites wouldn’t go on camera but let it slip, “Well they only have X amount of time to clean a room and that’s why they do it.” What?!?!?!?! Is she saying management doesn’t allow them time to properly follow county health codes?

If you think you’re immune from these practices because you paid top dollar at an expensive hotel, think again. Four- and five-star hotels are also guilty of these infractions. The second video profiled several high end hotels whose housekeepers cleaned those glasses in a laissez-faire fashion. Several of the travelers who saw the violations were speechless. One of the travelers in the video remarked that herpes, staph infections, and hepatitis are “not supposed to be part of the [hotel] bill, no.” An understatement, if you ask me. Just imagine all the diseases and viruses that are breeding on these glasses! In the video, Fowle stated that the “disease expert says drinking out of these guest room cups and glasses is like being at a restaurant and eating off the last person’s plate.”

And the same expert finished up the train of thought by pointing out:

…and having the waiter come over and say well, here, let me clean that off for you. And taking a towel out of their pocket and pulling that back down on your plate. That’s what it’s like.

The top health inspector concluded by remarking, “I suspect it’s going on in other counties, other states” as well as other hotel chains. So if you’ve been wondering why the water you’ve been drinking from the glasses tastes like it came from the toliet, perhaps it did. Next time I check in, I’m bringing in my own glasses. Because I don’t want the next check out to happen at the local hospital.