Change is constant, and the company I own, BayFirst Solutions, is not immune to such forces. In this vein, I want to announce that BayFirst has realigned the company to focus on our core competencies and, in doing so, has transferred all rights to DeafDC.com and Deaf Professional Happy Hour (DPHH) to Viable, Inc. (www.viable.net), a provider of video and text relay services. Viable has been the exclusive sponsor of the DC DPHH and truthfully, is a better fit and more importantly are as passionate about DeafDC.com.

Viable also cares about the positive impact that our website has had on the community and intends to ensure its continued growth and prominence. To achieve that, Viable intends to turn DeafDC.com into an independent entity, complete with its own advisory board. I will join that newly formed advisory board and as always you can count on me to read and comment on blogs. I wouldn’t want it any way otherwise.

To ensure stability and the continued success of DeafDC.com, Shane Feldman, the DeafDC.com Manager and someone who has become a good friend, will continue his responsibilities at Viable, Inc. He is excited about this transition and Viable is extremely fortunate to have such a talented person join their team.

Although I first gave the thought of a transition a year ago, this was nevertheless a difficult decision because I have nurtured the growth of DeafDC.com since its inception. I have developed a wonderful bond with so many DeafDC.com supporters and DPHH-goers, to whom I owe so much gratitude. I have learned so much and have gained wonderful memories; every so often a blog or comment from DeafDC.com is injected into an in-person conversation and leads to lively, intelligent discussions. The website has impacted me enormously. I know it has also influenced our community, and for the better.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support for DeafDC.com through the years. Please join me in thanking Viable for taking on this immense responsibility as DeafDC.com’s new caretaker. The future is bright for this stellar website.

Sometimes people grimace when I tell them that I live in Maryland, so I point out that I live in downtown Silver Spring and it’s a really cool place! It’s not as far as you think, just a 20 minute metro ride to Chinatown and a 15-20 minute car trip to the U-street neighborhood. Yet, if you’re trying to leave DC by way of Silver Spring, good Luck! Fridays are the worst. This is when I like being able to walk out of my apartment and go to the downtown area whenever I feel like it.

Granted, I never thought much about Silver Spring while growing up. It wasn’t a booming town; at least, not like Frederick (I dislike the idea of living in Frederick these days!). I grew to love the hustle and bustle of living in a “city” if you call it that. I like being able to step out of my apartment, hop on the metro if I feel like going into DC, or just grab a bite to eat at one of the many restaurants in downtown Silver Spring (Austin’s Grill, Adega Wine Cellars & Cafe, Thai at Silver Spring, Ceviche, CakeLove, Panera, and the list goes on!). The only thing really missing is a Target (I love Target…hmm maybe it’s a good thing there isn’t one within walking distance! However, there is one at the Wheaton mall). Speaking of the Wheaton Mall, I recently discovered the wonders of this place. Wheaton is definitely improving their neighborhood and become like Silver Spring. It’s working because Wheaton Mall is actually comparable to Montgomery Mall in Bethesda, MD.

With all the changes around Wheaton and Silver Spring, I decided I’d look up news for these areas on the Internet. One great bit of news gave me even more incentive to stay in downtown Silver Spring. According to silverspringdowntown.com web site, Live Nation is going to take over the old J.C. Penney’s store and build a new music venue on Colesville Road. I’m absolutely ecstatic about this news! It’s going to be called Fillmore which is inspired by the original Fillmore based in San Francisco.

Live Nation is the world leader in live music entertainment industry, and second largest entertainment venue management company in the world. Just like the 9:30 club except it’s in Silver Spring. Fillmore is supposed to seat 500 people or 2,000 people standing. They have plans to bring in all kinds of music, including rock, pop, jazz, country and salsa. Some folks wondered why they weren’t bringing in rap or hip-hop tours, Ted Mankin, a representative of DC Live Nation branch, said “There are not a lot of rap and hip-hop tours, they’re just not big money makers.” I completely disagree with him. I think it’s a load of you know what! Luckily Kathy Stevens, Secretary on the Advisory board also disagrees with him. Hopefully there’ll be all kinds of music, including rock, pop, jazz, country, salsa, alternative, hip hop, rap, and all that crazy nonsense.

The plan to bring the Fillmore to Silver Spring is just going to make the city’s boom even bigger. It’s going to draw more people to the community. I wouldn’t mind working at Fillmore when it comes around! I think I’d be a regular there. Too bad the proposed opening is in late 2009, or early 2010. That’s definitely a long ways away, I can’t wait! Not to say that Silver Spring isn’t already booming because they’ve got a good start with the AFI Theater, Discovery Communications Headquarters, as well as NOAA Headquarters. They all bring something good to the community. There’s more to come! According to this web site, plans are in place to build a civic center that will include a pavilion and an ice rink. There are also plans to transform the Silver Spring Metro into a Regional Transit center, which will include a MARC commuter rail, bus stations and bicycle trails.

With all this coming to Silver Spring, what about places of residence? There’s plenty of that coming. According to this web site, Portico’s on it’s way with 158 residential units including 24 MPDU (Moderately Priced Dwelling Units). Silver Spring Gateway, with 285 apartments and 173 condos, is also going to be built. A new building coming along sometimes after winter of 2008, known as the Argent, will add 96 units, and 12 MPDUs to Silver Spring, and they’re shooting to price these units at 400k. Whoa!

I’m definitely curious about the prices are for the up and coming condos that are shooting up around the downtown area. I hope it’ll be affordable, unlike some other areas in Maryland (such as Rockville and Germantown). I’ve also gotten an up close look at the new Rockville Town Center directly across 355 from the Rockville metro station. It is fun; a lot is packed in a small space. I think there’s potential for a DPHH there just because it is right across the street from the metro station. Just an idea! =) Although, I don’t think it’s comparable to Silver Spring.

So, what’s new in your neighborhood (Clarendon, Pentagon, Dupont Circle, U Street)? What makes your place rock? Give me a reason to visit your neighborhood!

Three years ago, I took the bold step of blogging on the Internet. It was not an easy decision because I was letting strangers into my world. Blogging allowed me to openly talk about dating, television shows, music, movies, friends, life, and frustrations. I felt comfortable putting my thoughts out there and did not worry about people lashing out at me or anyone close to me. There’s no censorship in blogging, I can say whatever I want, whether or not anyone agrees with me. It gave people an insight as to who I am.

I really enjoy blogging. I found people who loved the same television shows and could get their thoughts on the show. I received feedback from people on what I could do with my career. Blogging opened my door to the world a little wider. However, as the years have gone by, as you may have noticed, I’ve blogged less and have become more guarded about what I say. I feel like what I say might come back and bite me in the butt. It sucks that I even feel like this.

Blogging is a whole ‘nother level, it takes a lot of effort for people who are not writers, yet they enjoy writing enough to want to put their words on the screen to let the world read about their thoughts, experiences, and just what they think about life. Sometimes they come back to their blog and find a hasty or brash comment about what they’ve just written.

I religiously read a lot of blogs on a daily basis. Some are written by people that I don’t know, and they have no idea who I am. Yet, I feel some kind of bond because they’re letting me into their world, and giving me the opportunity to snoop into theirs. As time goes by, I’ve noticed these bloggers are writing less. I think it has a lot to do with the comments. When I comment, I try to keep in mind what my mom said to me, “If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.” I’m not going to say that I’ve never said a mean thing about anyone else because I have said crap about some people, some I regret, some I think deserve it, but that’s not the point. What happened to common courtesy?

For instance, there’s a website I check quite religiously that targets women and covers everything from fashion, beauty, health, fitness, dating, relationships, sex, love, everything you can imagine that women want to know about. There was one blog in particular that I started checking every single day because it was about a girl describing what it’s like to jump back in the dating world after breaking up with her long-time love. It was good at first, but then she started writing less and less, simply because people were so judgmental about the choices that she made. Eventually she quit writing, and the website brought on a new blogger.

The new person was a guy blogging about being single, living and teaching in LA while looking for love in all the wrong places. Granted, if you’re a guy writing about your love life and you’re a guy on a woman dominated website, that’s just asking for trouble. There have been some things that he’s said that I don’t agree with, but like I always say, it’s his life, his mistakes, he’ll eventually learn from them. But it’s really mind-blowing as to how far some women on the website go to defame his character. And the only thing I’m thinking when I read some of these harsh comments is, why you are even reading this blog in the first place. I wouldn’t be surprised if he chose to quit blogging soon. Quite honestly, it’s nice to read about a guy’s perspective on dating on a website for women because it gives me a new insight on how a guy might think!

It always comes down to, well, if you don’t like what the person’s writing about, then why are you even reading it in the first place? Really! Why are you even wasting yours and my time writing a comment? I think comments can take the fun out of blogging. How can we keep this from getting out of hand? What happens when this starts affecting people’s lives?

When it comes to listening to music, I’ve never been one to really listen to the beats. Until I met someone who works with music and is constantly thinking in terms of beats. He will talk to me and try to explain how he puts together some of his pieces. I have found that he has influenced me in how I listen to music. I used to listen and try to read the lyrics, but now I actually do find myself disregarding the lyrics, and paying more attention to how the instruments sound. I don’t think I’ll ever get to the point of where I will fully understand how everything works with one another.

If there’s one thing I’ve always wanted to do and that is to learn how to play the keyboard. When I was a kid, my parents did get me a keyboard. I only got as far as being able to learn a few notes (No, I don’t remember them anymore.) Now I do see an opportunity that lies directly in front of me when I can take a childhood dream of mine and learn to play the keyboard.

As I was speaking with him about taking the time to learn how to play the keyboard. He explained to me that most people learn how to play the keyboard first over any other instrument because it is one of the most intrincate instruments that you can deal with. Once you’ve mastered the keyboard, you’re able to pick up any other instrument and learn how to play those without any difficulty.

This brought me to an interesting point, it seems like most people play their instruments by ear once they’ve learned how to play the instrument. I was wondering how exactly do deaf people do this? Granted, there are deaf musicians out there that have been trained to play any song they want.

Do they just learn all the notes they need to know, and keep at it? Do they memorize every single song? How do they know if something sounds off key?  I know it can’t be easy, but if it’s a dream of someone to be able to be a master in music, then I’m sure the efforts they put forth is incredible. I’m just really curious as to how a profoundly deaf person (from birth) who has never been able to really grasp how things sound, and translate that to music.

Sooner rather than later, I’ll start sitting down at the keyboard and learning the basics. and hopefully, a year from now, I’ll be able to play a couple songs. I think it’d be a lot of fun, and an amazing learning experience. Do you  have any tips for how a deaf person might start learning how to play instruments? How did you start learning? What was the easiest way you found to learn how to play your instrument?

The tables have turned.

Just last year I was on the other side, being interviewed for the position that I am currently in. This year, we were looking for 2 new people to hire to fill the vacant spots in my department.

When I was being hired, my supervisor had decided to start having the team do peer interviews because we all had to be able to work together. And having a good team dynamic was essential to having a great work place environment.

It was almost bizarre for me because I re-read some of the questions that we had to ask and I could remember what I had said during the interview, nearly a year ago!

I knew exactly how it felt for the 5 people we had to peer interview this time around. It was intimidating to be sitting at the end of the table with 6 people staring at you and measuring you up.  My supervisor had told me she knew the team would want to hire me because during my interview I had them laughing (hey, when you’re facing 3 guys, you gotta crack jokes, otherwise they’d be bored out of their minds and focus their attention on doodling!) One of the questions they had asked me was: sometimes it gets a bit loud and noisy, how do you handle that? I told them I’d just turn off my hearing aids. The guys thought it was HILARIOUS.

But I swear I haven’t done it yet. I just ignore it, or join in on the ruckus.
The thing about peer interviewing, no matter how much we groan and moan about how we don’t want to do it, it’s absolutely necessary.

This interview gives the applicant an opportunity to size up the company, get to know the employees and find out about the company culture.

It’s also a great way for the supervisor to allow the employees to approve whether or not they think the applicant is the best candidate for the position available. During these peer interviews, we asked questions related to work, tried to get to know them a little bit, find out what they were looking for in their career, and see if they meshed with our team.

We did have a difference of opinions with our supervisior over some of the applicants. Our supervisior had thought one person had a great personality, and when we had interviewed them, we found the person too conservative, and did not think they would mesh well with the team.  The interview took close to 1 1/2 hours! Because the applicant talked so much and felt it was necessary to justify everything in her portfolio, which was really impressive (I almost wish i had some of those projects!)

Although we did take into account that we knew they were nervous. Who wouldn’t be? Facing 6 people at once!

I find this process to be very beneficial on both sides. It gives the applicant a chance to figure out whether or not they really want to work with this company and the team. They’re able to answer our questions, as well as ask us some questions that they might not feel comfortable asking the supervisor.

In turn, it gives us a chance to have a say in who we think will work well with us and blend in with our environment.

Strangely enough, as soon as one of the applicants we had interviewed, started working here. We could instantly feel the team dynamic shift. The energy was better. We started working together more efficiently. Since I’ve moved desks, I’ve started conversing with one of the guys more, and I’ve learned we have the same work style. I’ve been able to learn a few tips to make my job more efficient.

I’ve actually felt a lot better these days because I’m interacting with the team more. I’ve seen what a difference it makes. And feel that if I were to interview elsewhere, I’d want to ask for a peer interview because it would give me an opportunity to size up the company and the team I might work with.

If your work environment isn’t great, then your life isn’t good. You aren’t able to perform at the top of your game, and in turn, it affects everyone else around you. I also do think that your work life almost always affects your home life as well. Working in an environment where you mesh well with most people gives you the opportunity succeed.

Have you ever been peer interviewed? Have you ever been the one doing the interview? What do you look for in a company, a team?

Summer nights, hazy evenings, you’re sitting out on the restaurant patio, watching people walk by or you’re enjoying the summer breeze on your back porch, talking with your loved ones. It’s one of those nights when you’re in the mood for something refreshing, something tasty…but you’ve grown tired of mixed drinks? And you’re not in the mood for a beer? How about a glass of wine? But you’ve no idea what to pick.

I know the feeling.

Five years ago, I planned a trip to Europe, and some of the planned meals were accompanied with wine. I was nervous because all I’ve known was mixed drinks, particularly vodka. I wanted to try and appreciate wine while in Europe, so I decided to start tasting some of my dad’s wine whenever he opened a bottle for dinner. After a few bottles, I was beginning to feel hopeless. I didn’t like the taste of any of them, I felt like I was choking the wine down. How do people do this?!

Basically, I sucked it up. I tasted all kinds of wine while I was out on a five-week tour in Europe. There was even one incident, when I was at dinner with the entire tour group, and I was sharing a bottle of wine with two other guys. Both of them kept topping off my glass. I think that’s when I started to really enjoy wine. At the end of the five-week tour, I came home with three bottles of wine from Germany for my family to try.

I liked wine. But I didn’t know exactly what I liked. I definitely preferred white over red. But would try anything. Now comes the trial and error! I used to work with some ladies who enjoyed wine and champagne. That has helped refine my taste for wine, I learned that I liked Riesling and Gewurztraminer, the best (I Googled it, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to spell it correctly, if only I could pronounce it!).

Here’s a description of my favorite kinds of wine:

Gewurztraminer is a white wine that produces distinctive wines rich in spicy aromas and full flavors, ranging from dry to sweet. This varietal is a popular choice for Asian cuisines and pork-based sausages.

Rieslings are white wines known for their floral perfume. Depending on where they’re made, they can be crisp and bone-dry, full-bodied and spicy or luscious and sweet.

This link has a great description of all the wines you can think of!

I also lived with two other girls who loved white wine, so whenever we were in the mood to have some wine, we’d go off to the World Market, or some other store, spending some time trying to pick out some wines we’d like to try. Occasionally, there would be someone to help us pick some wines out (usually those turn out to be the ones we don’t like!)

I don’t know about you, but I tend to go about this strategy: Pick wine based on its labels. My mom says she does that all the time. It’s fun! but that’s not the only thing I look at, I also look at what fruits are made in the wine. I know I like citrus flavors, but not so much peach flavors. I’ve had quite a few hits with the wines I’ve chosen, now if only I could remember what they were!

Often times, I come across the dilemma, I’m out to eat and I want to have some wine with dinner. But I never know what to pick! I know the general flavors I like, but not all of the wine lists have descriptions of wine. This is when I ask the waiter to tell me a little about some of the wines that i might want to try and go off of that (I’ll be lucky if I completely understand what they’re saying). However, I think I’ve had more misses than hits when ordering wine while at a restaurant.

It’s hard to ask someone to recommend a wine that you might like, simply because everyone has a unique palate. Some are going to like drier wines, others prefer a sweeter wine. You also can’t always go by price because sometimes a pricey wine isn’t suited to your tastes.

Here’s what I suggest to do when ordering wine in a restaurant: the first thing is to decide whether you want white or red. That cuts your choices in half (if it’s a small group of people, choose one, but if you have a bigger crowd, perhaps try ordering one in red and one in white). You should also determine what will go good with what you’re eating. That’s as far as I can go with choosing wine. It depends on what you like! You should check out this list of suggestions on how to choose wine.

Now, you’re in a wine store or a grocery store and the choices are overwhelming! I know. I feel like that every time. Sometimes I try to remember what wine I really liked last time. I usually don’t remember the name of the wine, but on occassion I’ll get lucky and remember exactly what the bottle looked like. Now, I think you should be able to pick a wine based on the description of the wine. Also, location of where the wine came from does make a difference. You should also pay attention to how the wine is stored (upright or on the sides–wine is kept longer if stored on its side.) Try this website for some suggestions.

Now if you really want to learn what you like and don’t like, I suggest trying some wine festivals. Those tend to be fun, especially when you get a few friends to go with you. This gives you an opportunity to try the local wines, which I think promotes awareness of the environment. We have the Maryland Wine festival and the Virginia Wine Festival Incidentally, we’ve got something coming up for this weekend at Linganore Winecellars.

How do you choose your wines? Do you have any favorites?

Doesn’t everyone need a refresher’s course in traffic safety laws (at least for those that drive on a regular basis)? I almost wish I didn’t have to drive to work, I actually get anxious when I have to drive…the mornings aren’t so bad, but the evenings tend to be quite frustrating!

The reason why I am even doing this is because it all started a couple days ago when I was driving back to my place in Silver Spring and there’s this one pesky little thing, called a roundabout.

Here’s a definition of a roundabout from Wikipedia:

It is a type of road junction at which traffic enters a stream around a central island after first yielding to the circulating traffic.

The first modern roundabout was constructed in Paris around the Arc de Triomphe. Roundabouts operate with yield control, giving priority to circulating traffic and eliminate much of the driver confusion associated with traffic circles and driver wait associated with junctions that have traffic lights. Roundabouts encourage slower and safer speeds.

Actually now that I’ve defined a roundabout, there’s a pesky little thing called a traffic circle in Silver Spring. And I’d really like to thank the idiot who thought up of this genius idea to put a traffic circle right smack in the middle of 16th street exiting MD and entering DC. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen people that disregard the signs on the 16th street traffic circle! The main sign they ignore is the Yield sign (crossing from Colesville onto 16th street South.)

Perhaps we ought to start with the basic Traffic Safety Laws that I found on the Maryland Department of Transportation State Highway Administration website:

• Staying alert and giving driving your full attention (that means quit talking on your cellphone, or even your sidekicks, those things. You know)
• Showing courtesy to other drivers, pedestrians and cyclists (maybe they need to apply this to passengers, as well, because a lady in the backseat of the car I had encountered, started cursing at me because I wasn’t letting her car in, even though I had the right of way!)
• Complying with our traffic laws and heeding all traffic signs, signals and markings (hopefully since you can drive, you know how to read too!)
• Avoiding driving aggressively (you know, everyone wants to get everywhere on time, that doesn’t mean you need to switch lanes constantly. More often than not, the one who is steadier with their speed, gets there faster, and you use less gas)

Those are the four most basic traffic safety laws. Sounds simple enough?! I think so. Though I will say that none of us are perfect, and most of us have violated any one of those laws at one time or another, myself included. But I would like to believe most of us try to adhere to these simple traffic laws on a day to day basis.

The one sign that I’ve noticed that a lot of people tend to ignore is the Yield sign. It seems as if people don’t know the definition of a Yield sign. It means that you need to slow down and be ready to stop. If you have to stop, stop. It doesn’t mean you get to cut in front of other people.

Here’s an important one: Always stop or yield to pedestrians when they are crossing in a crosswalk. It’s the law! I cant tell you how many times a car just keeps going, even when the walk sign is on for me to cross. And I’m sure many of us deal with the buses in MD/DC/VA, and I swear they think they own the streets and don’t have to abide by the laws. But then again, there’s plenty of pedestrians that run across the street even when they’re not supposed to!

If you’re in a strange city, or a city that you don’t know very well, I do suggest you get a GPS system. Those things are cool! We tried one out while driving a rental car in Atlanta, and it’s nice not getting lost for a change.

I also do think if people were a little less aggressive (myself included), we’d all get to work/home safely and not in a grumpy mood! With that, I’ve definitely noticed that I’ve eased off trying to get to places faster because it’s really not worth it. It also helps that I’m not driving as much (those gas prices definitely help me cut back on driving). Though I’d be awesome to be able to walk or even metro to work once again!

Is there any signs that you notice drivers/pedestrians tend to miss or just simply ignore?

Drivers and pedestrians, drive and walk safely! And don’t forget to pay attention to where you are going!

Plenty of us take to the skies, whether it’s to visit family, friends, lounge by the pool while everyone’s suffering with the bitter cold days or simply to get away for a day or two. I take to the skies at least two times a year. I haven’t really had any dreadful experiences. Though I will say this, don’t watch any crazy shows that have anything to do with flying, that just makes me more nervous.

I’m a pretty causal and laid back flyer. I tend to keep my outfit as simple as possible, nothing with belts, sandals (or shoes I can easily slip on/off), keep the liquids to a minimum and pack that in a 1 qt bag, and keep that on top of my carry on, so I can take it in and out. Often times, I check my bags, but if I’m just traveling for two or three days I carry on my luggage. I rarely panic unless I know my flight’s leaving in 20 minutes or less and I still haven’t gotten through security, then I start panicking. But that’s only happened once, and when we got to the gate, the flight was delayed. Ugh, no one knew that until they told us right when the flight was supposed to be taking off.

Anyway, one of my biggest issues is that I’m not the kind of person that’s going to state that I’m deaf first thing, simply because I really don’t want to board the plane first. I hate being trapped in such a small amount of space, and if I get really unlucky, I might end up next to some people that, oh you don’t want to know what I’m thinking. And the one time I did mention that I was deaf, I ended up being escorted on the plane first. Being checked on like 20 times during the entire flight, and was escorted all the way to the person who was picking me up at the airport. it was the most BIZARRE thing ever. The only reason why I had mentioned I was deaf, was because the plane was being delayed numerous times, and there was no way of knowing unless I told them, so I wouldn’t miss my flight. Yeah, it was weird being escorted all the way to the car.

So over memorial day weekend, I decided to fly out of town (I’ve never really traveled during a holiday, but this trip wasn’t too bad). I didn’t have to wait in line to check any bags, I didn’t have to wait too long to get through security, and the flight was on-time. Ironically, I ended up sitting next to another DeafDC.com blogger. Small world, I say! She’s a different kind of traveler than I am. She likes to pre-board simply because she never knows when your row is being called. So it’s easier to just pre-board. It makes sense, but I would much rather, board when I’m supposed to board. I tend to guess when they call my row. But really, I don’t think I ever get it right. Who understand these intercom things?! But as we were talking, I thought it’d be so inexpensive to have one of those monitors where they can just tell you what rows are boarding, that way everyone can understand what’s going on.

On my flight back, I was on stand by, and the flight attendant said he’d call my name if I’m able to get on the flight. I told him I was deaf. So he just asked where I’d sit, and he’ll let me know if my name is called. So I waited till most people boarded, then they actually called my name and even though he was checking people on the flight, he remembered, and looked over in my direction and told me to go up to the desk. It was easy, but it can’t possibly be easy to remember people’s names all the time!

I’m curious, what do you think would make it easier for us to fly? All I want is something that makes it easy for me to understand the intercom if there are any delays, what rows they’re boarding, etc. That way I’m not constantly going up to the desk to find out what’s going on. Sometimes I’ll ask someone sitting by me, but it’s not guaranteed that I’ll understand what they said or that they’ll understand what the flight attendants on the intercom said.

Till next time, enjoy flying!

One day, I had a conversation with my sisters about finances, marriage and all that jazz. We brought this up because boyfriend is moving in with me. Big step, I know! I know I’m much more nervous than boyfriend is. And I wanted to know how we might go about buying a place, would we do it together or not? How would it work if I put more money down than he did, or vice versa? Anything to do with finances really confuses me, despite my efforts to understand it a little better.

One of my sisters said that if I  get married, that I need to consider a prenup. It wasn’t something I  really considered doing. This is simply based on the fact that I’ve always thought that when someone asks for a prenup, it sounds like a couple that doesn’t trust each other. However, she made a valid point, the money that I have in stocks is mine, and should remain mine. However, my other sister wasn’t too keen on the idea of a prenup. I didn’t blame either of them for thinking one way or another. It just left me a little bit stuck in the middle!

Should I even bring it up with boyfriend, even before we start living together? Or should I wait til after we’ve lived together, and perhaps discussed the next step?

I decided to do it now because I hate having things hang over my head, leaving me wondering, what if? I asked boyfriend about the idea of signing a prenup. He said he would sign a prenup because what we have together is not about the money, and won’t be. He might not have stocks or investments like I do, but he has possessions that are his, and will remain his. I loved his answer because I’ve always known that our relationship isn’t about money, but money does play a big part of our lives. Nobody can deny that!

I got even more curious because it seems like the times really have changed. Back then, if you brought up the idea of signing a prenup, people would accuse you of having no faith in the relationship, or that you did not trust the other person that you were marrying. I decided to look further into what a prenup meant, and who it was meant for.

Most people think that a prenup is for people who are marrying that have financial inequality, or have a lot of money. This might the most logical thing to only sign a prenup if there is a lot of money/assets involved. In reality, a prenup is for anyone and everyone who want to ensure that their financial future is safe.

Definition of Prenuptial Agreement: A prenuptial or premarital agreement (also known as an antenuptial agreement or prenup) is a signed and notarized agreement made by a couple before marriage that concerns various financial issues such as the control and possession of property and other assets taken into the marriage and later obtained during the marriage either individually or jointly, as well as the couple’s future earnings, and how such property or assets will be distributed in the event of divorce or death.

Here’s a little more insight into what a prenup means:

The good:
– When you ask your significant other to sign a prenup, it does not mean that you think the marriage will not last. It ensures that both of you will have a secure financial future.

–Prior to getting married, there are couples that do not discuss their financial matters. A prenup will allow you to discuss anything that has to do with your financial matters, and you can do so, comfortably.

–Whatever personal/business assets that you accumluated prior to the marriage, it will be protected in the prenup.

–Prenup does not mean you only discuss assets, it also allows you to include debts (student loans/credit cards) that you’ve accumulated prior to the marriage. This gives you the opportunity to figure out what you might want to do with your finances.

–If you have children from a previous marriage, you might want to sign a prenup to ensure the financial security of your children.

–A prenup simply keeps things from getting ugly if you do divorce.

The bad:
–When your significant other asks you to sign a prenup, it might cause you to feel that your significant other does not trust you.

–This might bring you to think that your marriage may not last.

–It is definitely unromantic to bring up that you want your significant other to sign a prenup, prior to your getting married.

The UGLY!

–You asked, they said no.*

The really good thing is: you can change your prenup as often as you want. You’re able to discuss your financial matters and get a better idea of how your significant other wants to spend money. You might even choose to share just one account or have three (one for each of you and one joint). If you do choose to get a prenup, it’s a good idea to have your own lawyers.

After reading all about  prenuptials, I don’t have bad feelings about it. I’m glad my sister brought it up. I’m glad I brought it up while talking to my boyfriend. I’m relieved that he did not see it as that I don’t trust him, but he saw that I cared about both of our futures as much as he did. I’m able to get a better idea of what we want to happen in our relationship.

Would you, or wouldn’t you?

*It might save you a lot of money and headaches!

For the past month, I’ve been bombarded with “Going Green” in my magazines. Then I ended up watching the Discovery Health channel on Thursday, which incidentally was a day that was called “Be Well.”

I’m all for the idea of “Going Green.” I think it’s a great idea, and more people should get into it, even if you’re only able to do one or two things to help the environment. The one issue that kept coming up for me & my friend was the fact that they said that buying organic (clothes & food) is a lot more accessible, the food’s fresher, all natural, the clothes are much more comfortable. None of that was the issue, the issue for us was the cost of buying organic. Maybe if we were living on a better income, it’d definitely be a lot more affordable to buy organic, but til then, we’ll stick with other ways to help the environment.

What can you do to help? What can you do to be a little bit healthier? You don’t have to do all of these things, but every little bit helps.

Take public transportation to and from work. If you plan on going into the city, take the Metro instead of driving into the city, it’s less stress & it’s accessible.

When you go grocery shopping, let your vegetables roll around in your carts instead of putting them in plastic baggies. You still gotta wash them when you get home anyway, so why bother with the plastic baggies. Bring your own bag to the grocery store. I know IKEA has started to charge 5 cents per bag & all the proceeds will be donated to American Forests.

If it’s possible, start buying your veggies & fruit at the farmer’s market. It’s cheaper, and so much better for the environment. The produce is not being trucked over thousands of miles. It comes from your local farm. You’ll contribute to your community as well as the environment. The produce tends to be cheaper & fresher. If you do see holes in the leafy greens, it’s a GOOD thing– it only means that there was no chemicals used to ward off those pests. All you have to do is WASH them when you’re ready to eat your fruits & veggies. Make it a weekly thing!

Do your laundry in cold water.

Buy CFL (compact fluorescent lights) bulbs, they use 70% less energy, as well as lasting 10,000 hours.

Turn your computer off (if you can’t, power-saving sleep mode), it uses 60 to 80% less energy.

When printing, try to duplex instead of using one sided.

A side note: My department is in the “printing” industry as my supervisor has said, which I don’t disagree with. I have tried to encourage our department to reduce our use of paper. We usually print out one draft for our technical writer to proof. We also print out a final copy (it’s often duplexed) & send the proposals out to clients. And we print out one copy (single sided) for our records. As well as however many copies that is requested for distribution among the team. I’ve suggested to duplex our draft (it was said that there usually is confusion, the pages get mixed up…). I’ve suggested for us to use the program Adobe In Copy. It was said that it’s hard on the eyes (due to reading on the computer monitor). How about our sales team use Adobe In Copy instead of sending us faxes with corrections (though many of them do just email us the corrections). I won’t even say what I was told about the sales team using In Copy, I just thought it was wrong. Luckily, the supervisor said instead of distributing copies to the team, they will just distribute CDs, which will save us about 25,000 pieces of paper a month. That’s something. We do recycle everything here. But I think it’d be interesting to try Adobe In Copy, not to say that I won’t keep trying.

Instead of buying bottled water all the time, use the water filters.

Bringing your lunch? don’t use plastic bags, paper bags, etc. Use the reusable containers. I also keep my silverware in my desk drawer so I’m not using the plastic forks, spoons, & knives that are distributed at work.

I’m not that big on buying books, etc., but I go to the library and check books out. I just know I’ll only read the book once. (maybe I should apply that rule to magazines as well, but i do read them more than once….and I promise I’ll donate it to some doctor’s office or something.. oy.)

At my place, we have recycle bins on every floor. And they distributed papers telling us what we could recycle, it had never occurred to me until then, that we could pretty much recycle all of the bottles & cans we use. Quite naturally, we do recycle all the cans & plastic bottles that we use in the kitchen, but not the stuff in the bathrooms. I’m doing that now, being conscious about making sure I throw those in the recycle bin as well.

Don’t take your clothes to the dry cleaners! If it’s possible, wet clean. The chemicals that are used in the dry clean method, is harmful to the environment. If they store it in those plastic bags, remove immediately & put it away from your other clothes to let it air out.

Doing any home renovations? Try buying bamboo wood. Bamboo reproduces quickly. And it looks great & durable!
Cut back on meat in your diet (instead of having it every night, try only 3 nights a week). You’ll save a lot more money. It’ll make you feel healthier & encourage you to be a little bit more creative when it comes to cooking lunch & dinner.

There’s so much more you can do…. if it feels overwhelming, just do one thing at a time. Every little bit counts. I know I’m trying. If you have any cool ideas that we can help make the environment just a little bit better, please do share with us.