Comments on: Retorts I Wish I had the Ovaries to Use http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/ Tue, 07 Oct 2008 20:39:05 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Mike http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14343 Mike Mon, 28 Aug 2006 01:08:22 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14343 I have been annoyed by some men who thinks that I should get vasetomy. Why they ask me? None of their business, really. Also my wife's ob/gyn doctor asked me and my wife if we consider birth control after my first daughter was born. I felt very offensive by that question, if my wife and I want some birth control... we can ask them for it but why asking us? Sometimes I wonder if that's audism, hearies think Deafies can't have a big family after we had one? Disgusting. I have been annoyed by some men who thinks that I should get vasetomy. Why they ask me? None of their business, really.

Also my wife’s ob/gyn doctor asked me and my wife if we consider birth control after my first daughter was born. I felt very offensive by that question, if my wife and I want some birth control… we can ask them for it but why asking us? Sometimes I wonder if that’s audism, hearies think Deafies can’t have a big family after we had one?

Disgusting.

]]> By: Pippin http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14340 Pippin Sun, 27 Aug 2006 21:53:49 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14340 Only child here and I turned out just fine, thankyiouveddymuch (my husband may disgaree otherwise but he had two older sisters so what does he know about being an only?). *pfft* about having multiples. The one you already have fits the bill just fine! :) Only child here and I turned out just fine, thankyiouveddymuch (my husband may disgaree otherwise but he had two older sisters so what does he know about being an only?).

*pfft* about having multiples. The one you already have fits the bill just fine! :)

]]> By: Someone from the back http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14339 Someone from the back Sun, 27 Aug 2006 21:46:19 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14339 Heteronormativity in action. Heteronormativity in action.

]]> By: A Deaf Pundit http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14252 A Deaf Pundit Sat, 26 Aug 2006 22:31:35 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14252 Yeah, I've noticed those kind of questions are usually targeted toward women. It's part of our culture. We're expected to be with someone, and have two or three children with a pet and the white picket fence. :P Maybe it's how I was raised, but I was taught that it's not really socially acceptable to ask those questions to a stranger, or a near-stranger anyway. Yeah, I’ve noticed those kind of questions are usually targeted toward women. It’s part of our culture. We’re expected to be with someone, and have two or three children with a pet and the white picket fence. :P

Maybe it’s how I was raised, but I was taught that it’s not really socially acceptable to ask those questions to a stranger, or a near-stranger anyway.

]]> By: Allison Kaftan http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14221 Allison Kaftan Sat, 26 Aug 2006 15:22:27 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14221 Ugh. That. Questions that are considered by most to be "socially acceptable" to ask but really end up confirming that you're weird or need help if you're a) single, or b) with an opposite-sex partner, or, if you're married, c) not popping out the little urchins like a factory. Of course, nothing wrong with being straight, married, and having a huge family, but - "hello" - not everyone is or wants to be. Ugh. That. Questions that are considered by most to be “socially acceptable” to ask but really end up confirming that you’re weird or need help if you’re a) single, or b) with an opposite-sex partner, or, if you’re married, c) not popping out the little urchins like a factory.

Of course, nothing wrong with being straight, married, and having a huge family, but - “hello” - not everyone is or wants to be.

]]> By: Lolypup http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14200 Lolypup Sat, 26 Aug 2006 10:56:49 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14200 As a gay man the number one question I get is, "Are you married?" or "Do you have a girlfriend?" Its annoying that we live in a world where its still assumed that we are all straight and married or otherwise taken. Which is strange considering the data showing a larger percentage of singles waiting longer to get married and even in most cases have even a relationship. As a Teacher I get this all the time from my students and still have yet to articulate a proper response other than No! As a gay man the number one question I get is, “Are you married?” or “Do you have a girlfriend?”

Its annoying that we live in a world where its still assumed that we are all straight and married or otherwise taken.

Which is strange considering the data showing a larger percentage of singles waiting longer to get married and even in most cases have even a relationship.

As a Teacher I get this all the time from my students and still have yet to articulate a proper response other than No!

]]> By: Lolypup http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14199 Lolypup Sat, 26 Aug 2006 10:50:51 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14199 Better: "No, but I HOPE yours are!" Better:

“No, but I HOPE yours are!”

]]> By: Allison Kaftan http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14190 Allison Kaftan Sat, 26 Aug 2006 07:00:41 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14190 You know, it is really SCARY how many of you responding to this are (as far as I can tell) women. I expected a good number of responses to be from women, but not ALL! Do these questions not annoy men? Or do men not get asked these questions? And no, this is not an opportunity to male-bash. After all, I've been asked these questions by both men and women. So, apparently, being annoying is an equal-opportunity (but not affirmative action) trait. You know, it is really SCARY how many of you responding to this are (as far as I can tell) women. I expected a good number of responses to be from women, but not ALL!

Do these questions not annoy men? Or do men not get asked these questions?

And no, this is not an opportunity to male-bash. After all, I’ve been asked these questions by both men and women. So, apparently, being annoying is an equal-opportunity (but not affirmative action) trait.

]]> By: LM http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14177 LM Sat, 26 Aug 2006 05:22:24 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14177 "Do you have a boyfriend?" "No." "Well, why not?" (As if becoming part of a couple is as easy as taking my car to Jiffy Lube for an oil change.) "Just haven't seen a good sale on boyfriends at Target yet." One day I'll have the ovaries to fire back a good reply, rather than turning red and looking for a conversational distraction. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Well, why not?” (As if becoming part of a couple is as easy as taking my car to Jiffy Lube for an oil change.)

“Just haven’t seen a good sale on boyfriends at Target yet.”

One day I’ll have the ovaries to fire back a good reply, rather than turning red and looking for a conversational distraction.

]]> By: Christy http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14165 Christy Sat, 26 Aug 2006 02:04:10 +0000 http://www.deafdc.com/blog/allison-kaftan/2006-08-24/retorts-i-wish-i-had-the-ovaries-to-use/#comment-14165 First of all, Leah would do just fine. I'm an only child and I've turned out just fine, as long as she hangs out with kids her own age, etc etc. Secondly, I'm going through precisely the same thing, but in a different retrospect: I'm a Canadian living in the U.S. on a work permit, looking for a job in DC. Which essentially means, this city is rabid with federal-related jobs. Everybody suggests marrying to solve this problem. I'm like, I'm NOT going to get married out of citizenship, only for LOVE. GAWD! :P First of all, Leah would do just fine. I’m an only child and I’ve turned out just fine, as long as she hangs out with kids her own age, etc etc.

Secondly, I’m going through precisely the same thing, but in a different retrospect: I’m a Canadian living in the U.S. on a work permit, looking for a job in DC. Which essentially means, this city is rabid with federal-related jobs. Everybody suggests marrying to solve this problem. I’m like, I’m NOT going to get married out of citizenship, only for LOVE.

GAWD! :P

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