According to this press release from WMATA’s site, the Metro Board of Directors has now approved Segways for use on Metro trains, but not Metrobuses. They will have a similar policy to bicycles - don’t bring them on the train during peak hours.

Notice that WMATA has carefully cautioned you to step off them when going up or down, writing “They must be walked, not ridden…on escalators. ” I’m glad they pointed that out. I’m not too keen on the idea of a 100-pound scooter crashing down the extra-long Bethesda escalators, mowing down a full column of hapless passengers. It would give new meaning to the “stand on right, walk on left” rule.

With a nod to people who must use Segways due to mobility disabilities, it’s comforting to know that “abled” walkers can now dispense with their laborious two-legged locomotive system and ride on a glorified gyroscopic Muggle broom from their front doors down to the Metro platform, hop onto the train and off, and then ride to their destination. D.C. is known as a walking city - but you can chuck that label and do it your own way. Just ride a Segway and expend absolutely zero calories!

Still, I’d want to ride it ON the train, and see if the Segway’s stabilizers can fend off the lurching motions. They can spin around, too, so it’s a perfect get-away if you’re standing face-to-face with an unpleasant-looking bloke on a crowded car.

I’m signing up for a Zipcar account right now, but I think a Zipsegway scheme would also be an excellent idea.