So, you want to pick a location for the next DPHH? Excellent. You might be curious how I picked Kelley’s Irish Times for August’s DPHH. No, it wasn’t done by lot, darts, or the Electoral College.

When the time comes to pick the next DPHH location, I must consider a few important factors. The first, is, of course, the Metro. One ironclad rule is that we always, always pick a location that is Metro-accessible, with the exception of Georgetown (because people are always willing to walk there). That pretty much excludes Glover Park/Upper Georgetown, most of Arlington, and College Park. We also don’t want to make people ride too far away, so the far-away stations like Shady Grove, Greenbelt, Vienna, or Franconia-Springfield are out.

Second is the MD-DC-VA rule. When I took over in April, I had a few e-mails from one guy who was loudly complaining that we hadn’t held a DPHH near Prince George’s County in, like, forever. Galaxy Billiards was my answer. I try and stick to a rule of MD, then DC, then VA, then back to DC, then MD, then DC, then VA. A DPHH in DC will happen every other month. Of course, enforcement of this rule is not under penalty of forced exile; I’m certainly free to consider a break in the tri-state pattern.

Case in point: September. It’s traditionally the largest DPHH (although last April and May were record-breakers, too) because everyone’s back in town. It’s also Virginia’s turn to host this. So I need to find a big, big place. But, because this is one big-ass DPHH comin’ up, maybe DC would be a better location - more accessible to both VA and MD. So that’s one issue I’m going to need to solve; suggestions are much appreciated!

And the third factor ties in with September, too. DC’s DPHH is huge. Gargantuan. Gigantic. Colossal. Elephantine. Brobdingnagian. That presents an interesting challenge. I need to find places to accomodate up to 250 people, and NOT pay for it via a reservation or per-guest fee. Many sports bars fall in this category, but I’m sure everyone here would appreciate a DPHH that wasn’t always at a sports bar. Nightclubs also fall in this supersize category, but they charge admission and are usually dark (they aren’t called dayclubs, after all), so it doesn’t make for a friendly DPHH location.

Most “cool” bars or lounges are, unfortunately, the size of a thimble. I remember the nightmare that was December’s DPHH. Cafe Citron on a Friday night - hah. The guest line snaked a half-block up Connecticut, with half the people signing away in the cold. That’s not what I picture DPHH to be; we waste enough time waiting in lines at other places anyway. So small places are out, no matter how cool they may be.

So, do-do? Just do the best I can, and call around. Here’s the saga that became August’s DPHH.

First, I decided on a neighborhood. August is DC’s turn, and I arbitrarily picked Capitol Hill. Just personal preference (well, that and the fact that I’m moving there August 1st). I immediately turned to the Washington Post and BarDC.com for clues. They led me to two places: Lounge 201 and The Ugly Mug. Both looked like good locations, with Lounge 201 leading. But I thought Lounge 201 might be too small and pretentious, and The Ugly Mug too similar to The Pour House. So I went back to the search.

I came across Zanzibar. Hot damn, I thought. Afro-Caribbean jammin’. And sure, it’s close enough to Capitol Hill. I called them up to inquire. I was blown away by their admission fees: $10 before 11 PM, and $20 after. Screw that.

So I went to call Lounge 201. The guy, Matt, was very nice and willing to hear me out. However, he preferred to rent out the private room for our event, saying that Lounge 201 could really only “accomodate a walk-in crowd of 30-50.” He didn’t want to push out the regulars with our wild signing and gesticulating, so that was out. DPHH doesn’t usually pay for the privilege of hosting the event at a specific location.

Dejected, I figured The Ugly Mug was my last choice. I went there last night to check it out with my sister plus a friend. Okay - it was way too small. Finn Mac’s next door was more than twice the size. We’d have people being squished right through the woodwork. *slish squish smiish*

So my sister suggested Kelley’s Irish Times. I had briefly considered that during my original online search, but was turned off by the Washington Post’s review mentioning it being mostly frequented by college students; not what DPHH’s crowd in the summer usually is. But duh - it’s summertime. School’s out. If there’s ever a good time to host it at The Irish Times, this is it.

So, I picked that this morning and posted it up on DeafDC.com. And there’s that. May God have mercy on the brave souls of Kelley’s Irish Times.

Now, would anyone like to offer any haphazard suggestions for September? October?